at least 18 months more

I have the unfortunate job of having to read the 87 pages of spin entitled the 'Draft Legislative Programme'. It's clearly written by the sales department and contains nothing meaty in it, apart from the usual communist ideas of 'if you're poor enough and work for us we'll help you buy a house' and 'we must bankrupt this country in the name of climate change by 2050'.

But it does seem to signify that we'll be having a general election in 2010 rather than 2009 because they have lots of things they are announcing in the early part of 2010. Which is a shame.

And what gets me is that there will still be millions of, apparently mentally retarded people, who will vote for them to get into power again!

Although voting for the Tories is only voting for a change of management. By then, the Lisbon Treaty will be in place and the Tories won't want to do anything about that because they love the EU.

It's so depressing. I'll have to cheer myself up with the knowledge that a few more years of being in the EU and led by Communists and soon I will be able to claim political asylum somewhere.

Tory campaign theme tune?

Which makes me think that come the next General Election we could be listening to the sweet strains of


Oh, joy....

How is 'rail workers threaten national strike' a news story? Surely more groundbreaking would be 'rail workers don't threaten national strike'?

A word of warning

Don't buy your phone from Phones 4 u. DO NOT under any circumstances get a Samsung U600 and tell anyone who calls up about some insurance you took out with phones 4 u in store to fuck right off.

I bought a phone from a Phones 4 u store in Edinburgh. They brought me out a nice phone which they said was top of the range blah blah. I asked if it made and received calls, which they said it did, which was ideal for my purposes of using it to make and receive calls.

So I get a phone and I take out insurance with the intention of canceling it after a couple of months when the phone has lost it's value.

The Monday morning I am back in the office when I get a phone call from a company saying they are Phones 4 u and talking about the insurance I purchased, saying that price I had to pay is being cut. Not it's a new deal they're offering me on top of my insurance I've already purchased, because that's the insurance they're talking to me about.

Alas, when I open my bank statements, £39.99 has been taken from my account by a company called 'future phones'. These people don't appear to be able to answer their phones and have not bothered to contact me with any records of why they have taken money from me.

Over the few weeks following my purchase from Phones 4 u I was bombarded with calls from people trying to sell me insurance. I asked one girl where my details were published that people felt they could continually call me and she said Phones 4 U had given it out. I also received two letters from a company I had never heard of both informing me of the monthly direct debit they were going to take out of my account (they had my account details) for, guess what! Phone insurance. I asked them who the fuck they were and why they were trying to con me twice over and they said that Phones 4 U had sent them my account details as I wanted more insurance. Oh yes. More fucking insurance.

The irony is, of course, that despite having crooked companies stealing from me left, right and centre, when I actually wanted to use my insurance I can't find the fuckers. I need to use it because the phone I was sold is as feeble as an anorexic after a hike up Everest. I took it out of my handbag and there was a crack on the screen. I hadn't been throwing my bag around since it's a rather expensive Jimmy Choo bag. The other place it had been was on my desk at work. Again, it's a desk. The most vicious thing on it is a tiger, and he's a stuffed toy. It's not made out of bricks and granite and other phone perils.

Nevertheless, having sent my phone off to Phones 4 U for them to repair it, I get a letter back saying that the circuit board was cracked and it's my fault for throwing it around. One minute my phone works fine, the next minute it refuses to take charge. (from the charger, not boss things in my handbag around). This is my fault, they tell me. That's very convenient for them, I say, seeing as it had to be sent off to a warehouse where they 'investigate' it and then they send me a letter saying that if I want it back I am going to have to pay for it. This, of course, means that if I want to get anyone else to look at it I have to pay Phones 4 U.

So I have insurance I can't use, a phone which has been taken from me and won't be returned unless I pay the ransom money and which is broken anyway but they won't fix because they tell me I've been throwing around against walls.

Because if my use of the phone as something I want to keep in my handbag has broken it, then it's not suitable to be imposed on a phone using public. Robust is what we want, not weedy, fragile things that break because you've put them on top of your contacts book rather than in a feather bed.

I think that the managing director of Phones 4 U requires a letter from me which I shall copy into the relevant regulatory authority.

But in the mean time, don't use phones 4 u or get a Samsung U600.

Town Halls cosy clubs for councillors

It is a phrase coined by Nigel Farage MEP, that between Labour, Tories and the Lib Dems, you can not put a cigarette paper between them on major policies.

From Cllr Steve Allison we find out that so close are they, they have joined together into cosy little cabals in town halls:

The Lib/Lab/Con is also united in their determination to hold onto the cosy club they have developed in Town Halls up and down the country. The lib/lab/con club operating in Hartlepool exists to make it very difficult for Independents or even worse any other political party, from getting any significant influence over the local government process.

The Lib-Dems and Tories would much rather see Labour controlling all the Committees in Hartlepool than have Independent or UKIP Councillors anywhere near positions of authority.

UKIP are frequently attacked by people who don't tend to understand politics or, indeed, policy, who say they just 'split the Tory vote' and let Labour get into power. When you have situations like this, surely it's more pertinent to ask the Lib Lab Con why they bother to stand against each other given that they agree on at least 80% of policy decisions; i.e that it should be the EU who make the laws, not Westminster.

Just say no..

From the April 1 edition of the FT:

Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Danish prime minister, has said he is not a candidate to become president of the European Union…Conjecture in the Danish media that Mr Rasmussen was positioning himself as a candidate for the permanent EU presidency increased after he said in November that his country would hold a referendum on joining the euro by 2011

News just in is that the Danes will have a referendum on membership of the euro in September.
Ten years since the currency reared it's ugly head and I am very glad that the UK is out of it. It's vital that a country has control over its monetary policy and the slowdown we are currently experiencing and will experience some more requires maximum flexibility which you can't get when your interest rates are controlled from Germany as part of a policy for at least 15 other countries...
You've done it before, Denmark, so do it again. Just say no!

Superb quotation from a colleague of the man involved in the shooting in Chelsea yesterday:

One said: "This is a personal tragedy. It is nothing to do with the chambers. Our thoughts are with his family.

Just in case you didn't get that, he worked for them but it's nothing to do with the chambers. Sorry and all that, but 'leave us out of it!'

Polly: why is she still employed?

I for one can't believe that someone pays her to write this god-awful shite, not to mention the glaring inaccuracies:

Victory will stifle Tory Euro-frenzy, letting Cameron escape his mad pledge to take Conservative MEPs out of the mainstream EPP into a little ragbag of neo-fascist stragglers. Where Cameron sees obstacles he will deftly side-step them, for the Conservatives are no longer the stupid party. Watch them win the Crewe and Nantwich byelection, easy.

For your information, Pol, the EPP is lead by Joseph Daul:

Joseph Daul, who was elected on Tuesday by the centre-right European People's party, is part of an inquiry into the diversion of €16m (£10.6m) of agricultural money in the 1990s that has also ensnared three former agriculture ministers. The eurosceptic UK Independence party unearthed the allegations yesterday.

Whereas the ragbags you speak of, you hateful, bile filled spiteful harridan, are people who risk their salaries to campaign for what the voters elected them to do. You know, like campaign for a referendum and unearth what is really going on in the EU? Campaign to stop the tide of directives from an unelected Commission and to bring about some kind of accountablility until the day we can, I hope to sweet Jesus and all his lovely sandals, leave this monstrous organisation.

But since the EU is a socialist wank fest you'll love it, Pol. Bet you wish you were an MEP so you can splash around in it all to your hearts content.

Royal Mail, royal mess up.

I had the enjoyable task of trawling through the Post Office review today and, as I have been saying for over a year now, the dramatic changes in the postal market have been brought about because of EU legislation.

In 2006 the UK's postal market was fully open to competition and in 2006/07 Royal Mail reported their first losses of £29 million in 350 years.

The report said that small businesses and domestic consumers haven't benefited but they weren't likely to as those areas of the market are costly. Businesses come in and cream off the profitable business post, leaving Royal Mail to fulfill the Universal Service Obligation of post box collection and door to door delivery a minimum of six days a week.

Of course, Post Office Limited is part of the Royal Mail Group who used to help subsidise the POL with the profits they made from their business post. But since they don't have those profits anymore, they are taking every last penny they can from renting out the sub post office buildings etc. and the government have to help keep POL alive with state aid, which of course they have to ask EU permission to do.

So 2,500 post offices close because the UK government cannot possibly keep subsidising the post office under the Common Market rules without substantial changes being promised. And don't forget the former article 308 which says

If action by the Community should prove necessary to attain, in the course of the operation of the common market, one of the objectives of the Community, and this Treaty has not provided the necessary powers, the Council shall, acting unanimously on a proposal from the Commission and after consulting the European Parliament, take the appropriate measures

Essentially, if you can say that something is 'in the course of the Common Market' then the Commission can do what they like, irrespective of opposition. Nice, eh? Good old democracy.

You see, post offices as such aren't a Service of General and Economic Interest which would allow them to have state aid under article 88(3) of the EC Treaty and it's only the facility which provides cash to people which is considered as such. Ergo, if these services can be performed in another way or location then subsidy is not required and the post office closes. The difference is about £50 million a year. The government has permission from Neelie Kroes in the European Commission for roughly £150 million for the next three years but since maintaining the post office network costs £4 million a week according to Alastair Darling, that leaves a £58 million shortfall.

As the former South East chairman of postwatch said to me:

It says the obvious: that the whole change and downturn in Royal Mail's fortunes is driven by the EU and there is no prospect of EU policy changing.

The other huge problem for Royal Mail is the backward looking Communication Workers Union who, in order to keep jobs for the boys, like to sort mail three times. Other countries have automatic sorting for upwards of 75% of their deliveries but in the UK it's only about 50%. For the others, the mail is collected, sorted and then thrown into sacks and then sent to another sorting office where it's once again sorted and then thrown into sacks and then driven somewhere else. Clearly, this is not a good use of money or labour.

But what really irritates me about this whole situation is that people simply aren't being told the truth. Take the comments of that rodent lookalike, Sarah Teather:

"The Government really should have seen this coming. Asking the Royal Mail to compete on the open market, without first making sure it had the resources to do so, was always bound to compromise the company.

Successive Conservative and Labour Governments have starved Royal Mail of investment. Royal Mail urgently needs a cash injection to allow it to modernise and compete with the private sector. Selling 49% of the Royal Mail shares would allow major investment without breaking the public purse.

Liberalisation appears to have had little impact on choice for the consumer and small businesses. Investment in the Royal Mail would allow it to innovate and compete properly, without one hand tied behind its back.

The Liberal Democrats who voted for Postal Market liberalisation way back in the 1990s despite these cautions being made at the time, and repeatedly since as we're now on the third postal services directive. See, fucking liars. The Tories are no better, of course, since they like to parade around their towns and villages talking about saving the local post offices when their MEPs also voted for the liberalisation and they also want to stay in the EU which has hamstrung successive governments over so many issues.

And Labour, well. For cabinet ministers to parade around trying to 'save' their local post offices when it's their lot who have overseen this huge fiasco is, admittedly what we expect of them but disgraceful none the less.

And the media? Well, they're none too keen on even mentioning the EU angle. A journalist at the BBC told me that the EU directive wasn't mentioned in the report. How they can possibly say that when I had the report in front of me and it repeatedly mentioned it is quite astonishing. I suspect they just don't like to admit that the Parliament they are monitoring and the politicians they know don't have the power they think they have. It's easier to ignore it than find out how laws in this country are really made. Just think if they had to monitor the work of the European Parliament, or if they covered the number of new laws the European Commission makes every week!

Much easier to just pretend it isn't there. So we don't get to find out the real reason behind so many decisions made in this country. And it makes me sick, it really does.

What is it about the German speaking people at the moment?

The bodies of three German babies have been found stuffed in a basement freezer and their mother has been arrested...There have been a number of similar cases in Germany.
In February, police were called to a home in northern Germany where a dead child was discovered in the cellar.
In January, a 28-year-old German woman was charged with manslaughter after the remains of three babies were discovered in her house and the home of a relative. That woman has denied killing the three babies.
Another woman was convicted of manslaughter in 2006 for killing eight of her babies in eastern Germany.

Just stop it, will you!

Back to the grindstone

After a lovely few days I come back to the news and find that nothing has changed in politics world. Gordon Brown is still a cunt, the Tories are basically still centre left and MPs are still stabbing each other in the back.

Today's prize for 'person you'd least like to have as a colleague' goes to Tony Lloyd MP who says:

the only MPs who wanted to depose the leader were "malicious" or had "personality defects"

You should know, eh, Tone?

Brown has decided he's going to do something to turn around this disastrous phase in Labour's life. Alas, it doesn't involve retiring or getting someone who has studied economics to make his policies for him which is a pity, but there we go.

Instead, he's going to tinker around with the exterior:
The Prime Minister could veto plans for a national pay-as-you-throw bin scheme and scrap a deeply unpopular 2p rise in fuel duty in a bid to woo back disaffected voters.

There is also speculation that he will act to keep food costs down, as well as introducing help for home-owners threatened with repossession and an extension of shared equity schemes for first-time buyers.

Don't buck the market, Mr Brown. I have a feeling that the downturn in house prices is coming about because the market is overvalued and houses are trying to find the equilibrium. That means that people like me might actually be able to afford a house without joining one of your communist 'key worker' schemes. And as for keeping food prices down, what are you going to do? Abandon the ridiculous EU bio fuels policy and stick two fingers up to the CAP?

Unlikely. You'll just dither around and we'll have more fucking posturing but nothing fundamental will change. No, how could it when at the centre is a hard line authoritarian socialist fuckwit with a power fantasy?

Honestly. Was it worth coming back, I ask myself.

London elects

Well, my contacts at the vote say that it looks like a win for Boris which will be utterly wonderful for London. yes, I'm not a Tory, but I think Boris is a bloody good bloke and had I had a vote in London he would have been my second preference. I hate Ken Livingstone so much I probably would have been happy to have my toe as mayor instead of him.

Not the BNP, though.

They're having a moan saying some of the ballot boxes were not sealed when they arrived which, in strong Labour areas I wouldn't be surprised about. But they've been amazingly lucky during these elections. Because of the complete media blackout on any small party since the Standard decided that fourth candidate would be the Communist Green Party (hoping to take the green vote away from Labour rather than a party who may take the vote away from Boris, showing in one easy step that even they didn't understand the voting system) the BNP will pick up the protest vote.

When they announced their policies, they had page leads in papers like The Times, they had full page coverage in the Mail and other people were campaigning for them, thinking they were discouraging people from voting for them. These are the sorts of people that think disgruntled, put upon Londoners will listen to some sanctimonious twat in a kaftan. So a big thank you to the media, particularly the Evening Standard. Your behaviour has helped ensure that small parties who offered a reasonable alternative got no coverage whilst the BNP were made to look like the only option.

I hope you're ashamed of yourself.

Why I don't like Labour No. 87629489248

Martin Salter, MP for Reading West, said: "We are still the single biggest party in Reading. Out campaigning, I'd never seen so many posh public schoolboys wandering around council estates looking lost.

Is that a chip on your shoulder, or are you just pleased to see me?
Wanker.

Gordon Warns

The international community not to engage in a protectionist backlash

But is fully supportive of a supranational organisation which decides our trade policy for us, subsidised industries in the EU which can't be bothered to compete on the world stage because they are socialist and which wholeheartedly rejects free trade which makes us all rich.

So once again he's a hypocritical fuckwit with no concept of economics.

Good-o.

well, readers...

Shall I?

Poll in the top left...You decide! It's more important than the silly votes today, anyway.

London decides

It's time for the final countdown cuntdown.



After eight years of being run by one of the nastiest men in British politics, Londoners can set themselves free.

The clock is ticking down...we could have only hours left of Ken as mayor!

You may be a gay woman but you're not a Lesbian

Three people from the island of Lesbos have taken a gay rights group to court. They have something of a problem with gay women being called lesbians and people from Lesbos being called Lesbians.

One of the plaintiffs said today the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," says Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos."

What a to-do. I am envisaging a protest by gay women regarding this. I do see the point of the people of Lesbos. They were there first, as it were, although one could lay some of the blame with Sappho. Gay women could be called 'Sapphos'?

It's a thought.

Shoes are bad

Instead of worshiping me with his body, Mr E has sent me an article about shoes damaging my feet. And your feet.

Look, it’s not your fault. It’s your shoes. Shoes are bad. I don’t just mean stiletto heels, or cowboy boots, or tottering espadrilles, or any of the other fairly obvious foot-torture devices into which we wincingly jam our feet. I mean all shoes. Shoes hurt your feet. They change how you walk. In fact, your feet—your poor, tender, abused, ignored, maligned, misunderstood feet—are getting trounced in a war that’s been raging for roughly a thousand years: the battle of shoes versus feet.

I know shoes are bad for my feet. That's why I'm usually in such pain and have feet which regularly need to go to see the beautician. That's not why I wear pretty shoes.

I wear them because they look hot and they make me look and feel great. Great shoes = great day and, more commonly, great night.

Why Merkel didn't get a Christmas Card?

Dizzy reported that Broon didn't give Mrs Merkel a Christmas card. I wonder if it has anything to do with her comments over the Lisbon Treaty which Brown and his cronies all say is not the Consitution and therefore they don't need to give a referendum.

"The substance of this constitution is the same...that is a fact."

Or maybe it's because she's a vile, hideous harridan who cares for nothing but herself. Just look at the way she reacts in this video.

Much coverage in the Daily Mail about the food price rises and the 10p tax rise but very little about the 9% price hike of the Daily Mail; well above the rate of inflation. Even the RPI.

Back to legitimate expectation

The judge in the judicial review case taken by Stuart Wheeler has withdrawn to reserve judgement at a later debate.

Mr Wheeler is saying that he had "a legitimate expectation" that Gordon Brown would hold a vote on the Lisbon Constitution, what with him promising it in the manifesto he was elected under.

Philip Sales QC, appearing for the Office of the Prime Minister, asked the judge to block Mr Wheeler's application, saying that it was "not properly arguable" and should not go to a full hearing.

Which I think translates to: please don't give them any more coverage, it's terribly bad for the government as people are reminded of what lying scumbags we are.

He said Mr Brown and Foreign Secretary David Miliband denied that any representation had been made amounting to a promise that a referendum would be held prior to the ratification of the Lisbon Treaty.

So they're still sticking to that old chestnut - alone in the world on this opinion of course - that the Lisbon Treaty and the Constitution are not the same thing.

I will be very interested to hear the decision of the judge but won't hold my breath. As we have been told before by a representative of the government, whatever is written in a Labour party manifesto is complete shite and can be ignored at the whim of the government.

Cameron: Polly conundrum

My god, but it's one of those days when I wish we did things in the UK the way they do in Africa. There really are a lot of mistakes walking around Westminster.

But the fact that the leader of the Opposition, the man who in a few years time could be leading this country is either economically and financially retarded or a fucking liar is deeply concerning.

At a Yorkshire Post organised meeting on 17th April in Leeds David Cameron was asked:

Q. Why would you rather be in Europe rather than govern, why don't you want a landslide victory that that policy would give you?

To which he replied:

A. The vast majority of the British people want to stay in the EU. From the very next day our businesses will flounder and be unable to export to the EU.

No, they don't.
No, it won't.

Just. staggering. UNABLE to export to the EU? ARE YOU MAD? Not forgetting that we are their biggest export market, but can you imagine the CEO of Mercedes saying 'Britain aren't in the EU, we must stop exporting to our biggest market'.

And Tories think this man should lead the country? Blimey but when it comes to Trade policy perhaps we are better off with Peter Mandelson.

Why career politicians are bad for Britain

Comments of people like Iain Dale immediately trying to smear UKIP MP Bob Spink show the typical career politician attitude which has plagued our country in recent years.

He says:

Within six months Nigel Farage will rue the day he ever met Bob Spink. As UKIP's only MP (albeit not elected under that banner) he will have delusions of grandeur and believe that he should be the de facto leader of UKIP. He's that kind of man. For Farage he spells trouble with a capital T.

You see, there are some people in politics who do it for conviction, not because they want to appear in front of the cameras.

I read the comment out loud in the pub and Nigel Farage said that these people just don't get it. Small minded is the only word I can really think of.

People like Nigel who are in it for the cause don't start having hissy fits because someone else gets the limelight. It's about achieving the final target, not about how many appearances 'doing the papers' on Andrew Marr you can get, or how big a swing to your opposition you can achieve.

Yes, I understand that Tories have lost yet another MP who basically thinks that Cameron is a cock but really. Champagne corks popping in CCHQ? David Davies didn't seem to think so earlier.

And I'm not going to take criticism from someone who can't even write their own baggage labels.

As for this e-mail Guido has posted...honestly. It's what we anticipated from them to be honest but when you try to make a big deal about someone not telling someone from the opposite side what is going on when things have not been finalised, then really.

Do you tell people about business deals before they're finalised?

(well, I had to go with the gorging style food option)
from the Sunday Times article:

I thought, of course, I was being clever, and no one would ever know, but Pauline realised in the end. The signs in the toilet gave it away

Which rather explains why:

Taxpayers also paid more than £3,000 to clean the apartment, which was previously occupied by John Prescott.

if he couldn't even be bothered to clean the loo up properly after he'd yacked.

silly meme

Mark Wadsworth wants me to take a photo of my messy desk with my desktop on it.

Here you go:


the picture is a Renoir. The desk is fairly tidy for me and includes the required elements for work, such as shoe calendar, hair brush and pink hair straighteners as well as sling and a pair of tights. I now tag:
Happy Harriet Harman
Lady MaCleod
A Very British Dude
Mr E
and Chip Dale

Puking Prescott

It's all very courageous that the former Deputy PM has admitted that he had bulimia, and it might go some way to explaining the £4000 a year food bill at his Admiralty Arch apartment, but I can't help thinking that he was misdiagnosed.

I think he was certainly au fait with the stuffing his face side of things, but not so good on the whole throwing it back up again. 16 1/2 stone is rather heavy and to be honest, the fact that no one realised makes it highly unlikely that he was doing it frequently. I lost loads of weight when I was quite badly bulimic but I was in an office on my own which had a bathroom attached and I was living on my own too. No one knew how often I was being sick, how much time I went in there and didn't see my red, blotchy face and piggy eyes when I came out. Because that's what happens if you are bulimic and you do throw up everything you've eaten.

I just don't see how someone surrounded by people, always at lunches and dinners could manage to get away with such an illness with no-one knowing.

And also the sheer size of him makes me think he wasn't throwing up often, the key point of bulimia, or he would have been smaller. I lost a couple of stone in about a month when I was at my worst, i.e throwing up every meal even if I only ate salad, and anything I may have eaten in between. I could smoke in my office, it was a lot easier back then!

Someone still has a chip on their shoulder

Dr Sean Gabb of the Libertarian Alliance clearly still has a chip on his shoulder because UKIP didn't want him to speak at their North West conference after hearing of some of his views.

Now he's trying to imply that UKIP aren't libertarian because we allowed a debate at our conference. Allowing debate and discussion? surely not!

The United Kingdom Independence Party appears to have pretensions to claiming the libertarian mantle, but at its last conference, it debated the imposition of tariffs and the re-introduction of national service,

The motions were rejected of course, as being in opposition to our manifesto which is in favour of free trade and doesn't say anything about reintroducing national service. For Dr Gabb it seems that allowing debate, one of the central points of libertarianism, makes us not libertarian.

But having heard one of Dr Gabb's hissy fits, he strikes me as the kind of man that doesn't let fact get in the way of his argument.

more hypocrisy from euro nationalists

My favourite MEP Richard Corbett is having a moan because of UKIP and the Irish referendum.

At one level, it is amusing to see UKIP, which frequently makes shrill accusations about "Brussels meddling with Britain", trying to meddle in a referendum campaign in another country.

http://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
This from a man who voted against respecting the results of the Irish referendum.

And a man who represents a part of the UK which he doesn't bother to live in. And who wants to see us as part of a federal Europe. And who is, it seems, alleging potential criminal activity by UKIP over funding when the EU are pouring millions of euros lying to the Irish population and when the British embassy themselves are interfering in the Irish referendum.

These people are so hypocritical it makes me sick. Really, Richard, come now. We all know your main problem with referendums on these issues is that the options are 'yes' and 'no' rather than your option of 'yes' and 'yes please' (if they have to have a referendum after all. So inconvenient having to ask the voters isn't it.) but it's called democracy. There is frankly far too little of it in the European Institutions (£10 says you start thinking, 'but the Lisbon Treaty gives greater power to the European Parliament which is directly elected!') but can you please stop grasping at straws trying to find any way of attacking the no side. We're already at a huge financial disadvantage because the EU will channel our tax money into telling us that what we can clearly read is wrong and not what they're up to at all. And they are also of course holding back details on forthcoming legislation which they know will be hugely unpopular. Like the EU army.

Euro fanatics can never win a fair competition. They have to cheat and lie which is why they do. It's like the comments of Jo Leinen after the Dutch said no to the TEC. 'You may have your little celebration tonight but we have 50 ways to win."

Says it all, really.

New blog I like

The Happy Blog of Harriet Harman

She's not too keen on me, alas, but I must say I never realised how kind and geniune and, more importantly, happy the woman is:

In fact, just to prove it. Here are some pictures of me on my 25th anniversary of becoming an MP. I invited all these ethnic minorities to Portcullis House to show how inclusive Labour is and just so they didn't feel like they did not belong, I wore my kente scarf across my jacket. Kente is a type of fabric from Ghana, which as you should know is one of the largest countries in the Caribbean!

This proves my point
QED.

I'm converted.

cheating bastards

The Irish Daily Mail have run a story about the British embassy in Dublin informing the British foreign office about the plans to try to hoodwink the no campaign so they can get their constitution through in Ireland.

And it is a fucking constitution, you malodorous, deceitful pillocks.

The European Commission are, naturally, in on the whole thing, along with spending vast amounts of British tax payers money trying to skew a referendum that we ourselves weren't allowed. You see, the EU told us that after this 'tidying up exercise' there wouldn't be any new treaties for ages (they don't need to, they have an amending clause which neatly bypasses democracy) and that the EU would just get on with saving the planet.

This e-mail however, points out that the date of the Irish referendum really should be around October 'from a procedural point of view' but the risks involved 'were just to great' because Sarkozy wants an EU army.

HEAR THAT? He wants an EU army. But people over here, the politicos who all gang bang the EU social model and the journos who don't seem to report anything outside of Westminster unless it's about a fucking banana (excluding lovely ones who do actually know what they are talking about, and they do exist)just won't take a blind bit of notice.

And then something will happen and a Tory will comment on it and it will be like 'oh my god, look at this, isn't this awful, why didn't we know?!?!'

Because you don't fucking listen.

I am angry about this. Not helped by having copy of said e-mail in vicinity. The big words 'restricted' are looking at me, mocking democracy.

Excuse me whilst I go and scream.

We are used to the BNP coming out with statements which have us crying with laughter at their ignorance, but now I am even laughing at their 'sources' for stories.

Some mentally challenged keyboard warrior on the BNP forum has decided that UKIP are in fact controlled by MI5 and that leader Nigel Farage is too busy making 'a fortune' in Brussels and not doing any work.

His source for this is none other that chief galactic conspiracy theory warrior David Noakes, failed leadership candidate whose wife has left him such were his insane ramblings and who was described by one of the people who would know best as:
"a swivel-eyed loon whose insane conspiracy theories make the rest of us look as mad as a box of frogs... so good riddance. He should really be locked up in a secure unit."

I wonder how Farage is making a fortune on an MEPs salary when he spends so much time and money working and spending so much on building up the party, despite actions of colleauges and staff piqued by jealousy.

Alas by refusing to publish the truth about the EU and how so many of the situations happening in the UK today which stem from EU law, the main stream media are making it much easier for the far left, authoritarian, sexist, fascist, racist, socialist, homophobic morons (the BNP to you and I) to get people to vote for them.

But the editors who desperately want to see David Cameron as the next Prime Minister will close their eyes to the truth. They're rich enough that it doesn't bother them.

Partner needed

Have been learning ball room dancing for some time but finding partner tall enough is now getting me down. So have decided to put notice on here if there are any stray male ballroom dancers around who are at least 6 ft and need a partner then get in touch.

And in the mean time, enjoy:

Another day, another thing for them to ban

And today we can go to the glamorous and slightly smelly orange world of sunbeds.

A 13 year old boy has, you see, been burnt by a sun bed. A sun bed that he went on three times in one day. In a sun bed shop that has coin operated sun beds and is only manned 75% of the time. In Wales.

Salon owner Steven James said he is looking at ways to prevent such an incident happening again but added that the salon was only unstaffed to compete with others in the area.

"I would very much prefer to have someone there all the time," he said.

"We are not operating illegally and if laws were passed to make all salons staffed all of the time it would solve the problem.

That's right! Get regulation involved, that's just what we need!

At least the mother of the boy came out with something sensible to say:

I don't want the place shut down because the man has to earn a living but I expect him to take some responsibility and have it manned.

And then British Association of Dermatologists, said

This sort of horror story is precisely why sunbeds need tighter regulation.

One stupid child who won't listen = more regulation for the rest of us.

I would have thought being horribly burnt would teach him not to do it again. If the rest of us can read and use our noggin, why can't he?

Another reason why I'm going to hell

So the other day I was standing in Parliament square by some chap on a bike who had been hit by a car. Ouch. Cue lots of syringes all over the road and police tape and an air ambulance. It didn't look good.

The BBC sent a camera down to film the helicopter and the lady in question was not too happy about filming a 'porn shot' as she called it. Don't blame her, really. I wonder if the press would have been so interested had it not been an MP who accidentally knocked the cyclist off his bike. And it was an accident and it's another reason why I wouldn't cycle around central London.

So yesterday I asked a policeman by the gate where it happened if the chap was on the mend and he's critical but stable, so he should be okay. I hope MP in question is okay too because I can imagine he's having a pretty rough time and feeling terrible.

But a thought did cross my mind and that is that it should be a while before we once again hear the sanctimonious cries from rich Tories who can afford to live in the centre of London, unlike the rest of us, telling us all we should be cycling to work instead of driving.

I look for the rainbow.

Looks like Rowan Williams already has his way

I think the driving laws in this country are ridiculous. I think most of them are simply revenue raising exercises and the police should be out catching criminals rather than hiding behind bushes with speed guns.

I would also take pleasure in personally blowing up every kind of 'traffic calming' measure like speed bumps and pointlessly blocking off one lane of a road. It also stinks of hypocrisy when all we hear about is 'climate change' and yet these measures contribute to congestion and damage cars.

However, what makes me more annoyed about traffic laws is when some bigamous, hypocritical knobhead doesn't have to abide by them.

Mohammed Anwar said a ban would make it difficult to commute between his two wives and fulfill his matrimonial duties.

His lawyer told a Scottish court the Muslim restaurant owner has one wife in Motherwell and another in Glasgow - he is allowed up to four under his religion - and sleeps with them on alternate nights.

But bigamy is illegal in this country, so like benefits it's now one law for them and another for us?

He can drive at 64mph in a 30 but I can't because I'm not married to numerous people?

I can't imagine decisions like this make it very easy for law abiding Muslims in this country who are governed by the laws of this land and don't take the piss. People get rather agitated by what they see as unfair and could tar all Muslims with the same brush.

It has to be one law for everyone, regardless of religion, gender, race or shoe size.

Olympic bias?

Much was made of the former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq being knocked over for taking part in the Olympic torch parade. I wonder why she was taking part in it at all as she's not an athlete. She's not even a Blue Peter presenter anymore.

Then I remembered something:

The BBC has warned Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq about political bias after she took part in a press conference with London mayor Ken Livingstone.

She appeared at an event to promote cycling despite the corporation telling her agent she should not take part.

And then something else from the Sunday Times:

The campaign for London mayor has gone national. Gordon Brown has sent in Tessa Jowell to revive Ken Livingstone’s reelection fight, and David Cameron has ordered every Tory MP to canvass for Boris Johnson...

Meanwhile, the mayor, who won his first term in 2000 as an independent and had a tense relationship with Tony Blair, has submitted to curbs on his autonomy. He has surrendered powers to Jowell, with whom he worked on London’s successful bid to stage the 2012 Olympics.

Under the informal arrangement, she will mobilise Labour’s MPs and officials to campaign for Livingstone and will also play a part in fundraising.

Tessa Jowell who is also the Minister for the Olympics.

I wonder if someone had a word and tried to get the little Ken supporter a nice role which would raise her profile and also help Ken, Tessa and the Labour party quite nicely.

silvertongue

Naughty Nazi romper Max Mosley might be regretting his nickname which was, until recently, a compliment on his exceptional legal skills and ability to talk anyone round to anything. I seem to recall being told that he was called to the bar at 21.

No doubt these skills came in quite handy when persuading women of easy virtue to play the well known game of 'hide the gas canister' or whatever it was. Whether it does actually extend to other tongue related activities. Although he does appear to be a cunning linguist...

Bad taste joke

New cast (pink, natch) makes typing even if it still HURTS GOD DAMN YOU DIZZY! So that us a good thing.

Anyway, I digress. First things first: I have finally managed to get a pub in Westminster to bar Alistair Darling which I am rather proud of. It took a lot of drinking in the local hostelries to achieve my target but I did it, dear readers, for you. And me.

Secondly, I know the reason why the plane crashed in Orpington. Some fools in Kent went on holiday and left their landing light on.

Ithangew.

Positive discrimination is still discrimination

England Expects gives us a run down of the Tory selection for MEP. Lots of women who did not receive the main support from the membership have been put in high on the list because of their possession of a vagina. Nothing more, nothing less.

I would be utterly appalled and humiliated if my job was given to me because I'm a woman. I know that the number 2 on the East Midlands is hardly a bright cookie, nor someone I would ever trust anything with as she is only out for herself, but she will probably become an MEP because of her gender. Do these women have no shame? Are breasts now the be-all and end-all in politics? I hope not. The girl can't even get a bra that's the right size.

Free trade responsible for WW1

A new target for my bile and vitriol is none other than Lord Macleenan of Rogart. Not a fine chap, it has to be said, and one whose grasp of economics is slightly lower than the water level of a Saharan well.

During the 2nd reading of the Lisbon Treaty in the House of Lords yesterday he followed the speech by Lord Willoughby de Broke, a hereditary peer who was voted to remain by all peers, who thinks like I do that free trade is the best way to keep peace between countries and also to alleviate poverty in the developing is free trade. Not that fair trade rubbish which is just another company with a middle man, scraping what they can from the misery of the poor.

I did let out a small exclamation when I heard him say:

If we do not ratify the treaty, we in this country and in the Union at large face the problem of potential impotence. This is not, as the noble Lord, Lord Willoughby de Broke, said, a question of regaining control. It is pure fantasy to suggest that this country has control over climate change and can pursue an immigration policy in the modern world entirely on its own. It is also pure fantasy to think that we can, through our lone voice in the councils of the world, influence trade policy to protect our citizenry without aligning others in support. These notions of self-control are 100 years out of date. They reflect back to the thinking of the pre-First World War Concert of Europe, to which the answer was 1914. When are we going to realise the reality and the limits of British power and the necessity of our country concerting its policies within the legal framework that the Union provides?

Er, hold on. We're the third largest trading nation in the world and became so successful because of our policy of unilaterally lowering barriers to trade. And this peer, this...... Lib Dem (for I can think of no more damning a phrase) thinks that we're better not having our own trade policy and instead having Peter Mandelson represent us as 1/27 of the EU and mainly controlled with maintaining their harmful, damaging and retarded policy of tariffs, dumping and subsidies.

But don't forget now, children. It's people like Lord Willoughby who want the poor to trade themselves out of poverty and who want those who make decisions to be directly accountable to the people that start bloody wars. Because Lord Maclennan said so.

Dull Des

My ears were waging today listening to some MoD staff talking about the NATO conference today. Not many people will be in the UK delegation as 'the miserable bastard' doesn't like English people, I overheard.

Why the countryside is better than a town

1. Ken Livingstone doesn't run it
2. Ken Livingstone wouldn't want to run it
3. Boris Johnson wouldn't be seen as a credible alternative to Ken for running it
4. You get train announcements like this: (with thanks to Minge)

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is Barry your train manager (conductor is presumably too descriptive a word for his job)
We are sorry to have stopped the service here at Lostwithiel. This is a result of suspected sheep on the line. We are investigating this, and hope to be moving shortly.

Note the sheep were suspected.

Why is it Shirley Williams always play the hard done by batty old woman? The other week on Question Time she shrieked about being misquoted when the news arose that she threatened to resign from the Fib Dems if they supported a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty. Now she's just been shrieking in the Chamber about it yet again. Methinks the noble Lady doth protest to much!

Raking up old ground

Am looking at all this stuff about the Fawcett report today. Obviously am not writing much what with having a large plaster cast on my arm which keeps hitting different keys and deleting things I've written, but am getting a wee bit irate.

Let's get one thing straight: I hate strip clubs. I do not tolerate boyfriends going there and if they did it would be the old Spanish Archer. Essentially, strip clubs are full of tits in every sense of the word. Yes, women might make a lot of money out of it but that's because they're selling themselves and making themselves a play thing of a man. Not nice and consequently requires larger renumeration. Each to their own.

However, I also don't like women such as Dr Katherine Rake coming up with dodgy reports funded partially by the tax payer (they get money from the Home Office) and sponsored by one of the most incompetent women on the planet.

Women like Jowell, whose complete fuck up over the Olympics is, in my opinion, only set to get worse are an embarrassment to the female species. Dr Rake also thinks it's okay to publish results of reports and then go on BBC radio and acknowledge how her data was of poor quality.

So why publish the results?

I hate strip clubs, but it's my choice whether or not I go in them, associate with people who think that buying women is acceptable or indeed women who chose to take their clothes off for fat, flatulent probably impotent men.* It's not my business to tell someone I don't know that they aren't allowed to go in there, aren't allowed to work there or associate with the workers. Why would it be and so how is it Katherine Rake's?

I can see how working in a male dominated environment might mean your colleagues traipsing off to a titty bar and some women might not like that, but then don't go. And to be quite honest, if you haven't managed the art of wrapping men around your little finger then you're wasting that male dominated opportunity.

I work in a male dominated environment and my colleagues have more chance of being corrupted by me than they have going to do business in a strip club. Not that they would do business in a strip club because it's too loud and they aren't oiks.

70s feminism is, it seems, coming back. Well, I'm not burning my bra, that's for sure. It's agent provocateur.

*I admit, that may be my biased attitude. But it's my blog.

Consider me amused at the story that the Prime Minister got lost at Windsor Castle during the state banquet held in honour of the Puppet President.

Such a shame they found him.

Bar the Bastard!

So, it's hotting up. The campaign to bar our money grabbing, economically illiterate Chancellor from pubs across the country has moved up a notch since the snob started pushing the genius idea.

Now, our brothers in Brussels have shown their support with the MEPs most popular bar in Brussels, O'Farrells, barring him...


But as Nigel Farage commented, these politicians are so dull and out of touch with reality that they probably never go in a pub. Would you want a drink with them? They'd never get the round in, let's face it.

I wouldn't draw the line at Darling, either, but pick up on a UKIP press release from last summer saying any MP who voted for the smoking ban should be barred since they have caused massive problems for the pub trade, because of their small minded, selfish sanctimonious attitude.

Things the govt does wrong No. 1732538

As if student loans weren't enough of a stupid idea which burden young people with debt at a time when just living is expensive enough, the govt have announced that since 1998, 154 prisoners have been allowed to claim financial support from the student loans company. The total comes to £730,000 which of course is a tiny amount compared to what prisoners have spent on them to keep them in porridge and plasma tvs.

It's typical of this government to let such a fuck up happen. If someone's address is HMP Broadmoor surely someone sorting out the loans and grants could work out they won't be paying much towards their board and lodgings...

Where is this shop when you need it?

I am not convinced this was the most deadly thing on sale. Just down the road was a snack bar style outlet which only opened in the evening after much alcohol had been consumed. During this time, the dead man's leg could be seen being heated up and served. During the day, it just sat there getting older and smellier...

Says it all, really

An MP fairly near me decided not to turn up to the vote on the referendum on the Lisbon Treaty despite being a Tory and therefore supposed to be eurosceptic. Numerous contacts have been made to him asking why he did not turn up. Did he, for example, have something else more important to do, such as emergency heart bypass surgery?

However, since none of us live in his constituency we can't get an answer from him and have instead been directed towards his website. I duly clicked on his site to read the words of wisdom, and went to the page titled 'Lisbon Treaty'

Classic.

*in the little box on the right hand side is a PDF offering his explanation which says he is in favour of the Treaty which he is going to vote in favour of the Treaty but didn't want to 'help the government' by voting with them against a referendum

It's a lifestyle choice

Am getting rather enraged listening to the debate on Radio 2 about women and maternity leave. There was a woman on who was surprised when she applied for jobs to find out they didn't want to employ her because she was pregnant. Well, of course they don't. If I needed to employ someone I would hire a guy, as cute as possible, because he's not going to get pregnant and leave me up shit creek without a paddle. They cancelled her interview, which she thought was appalling, but they were just saving both their time as they knew they weren't going to give her a job.

Why would someone, particularly in a small business, hire someone who is then going to stop work for at least a few months? They get trained up then they leave and the employer is stuck in the same place they were, except they now have the bother of maternity leave and pay. Their colleagues then also have to take on extra work with no more pay whilst someone gets paid for fulfilling their lifestyle choice. It's not discrimination, it's sensible business. Hell, if she's that great she won't find it hard to get a job once she's had children and can go back to the world of commerce.

As a woman who doesn't want to have a child, these women who take the piss with their maternity leave and such behaviour tar us all with their brush. An employer doesn't know that I don't want kids and am not going to leave them in the lurch after only a few months, so for that reason they may not employ me, or another young woman. The way I understand it, women can go on mat leave for up to two years and then can inform their employers that they aren't going to come back to work. How is that regulation for good business practice?

Because having kids isn't a right, which is why I don't think people should get handouts from the state for having children. If you want a child then that privilege comes with the responsibility and in my opinion that responsibility is paying for it. These days, everyone chips in with paying for children in the form of taxes for child benefit, council houses for single mothers, state schools, the free at the point of use NHS services and all those transport initiatives other people got but I never did. Hell, my parents had to pay private school fees because the school in my area were so bad.

With this government it's harder and harder for people to be able to fund themselves I know, because the tax burden has risen so much and the state wants you to be reliant on them. But I don't understand how these women can not see the point of view of the employer.

I don't pretend to have the answers but I see this legislation as incredibly damaging to women wanting to get employment. The contract between an employer and an employee should be just that: between them. Politicians, most of whom have never had a real job in their lives (don't forget where this legislation arises from!)should be the last person sticking their honks into this business.

Harsh? Maybe. But it really does annoy me.

Outside the tent pissing in?

We usually expect some form of descent in politics, but from the leader of the party? That's a bit much, surely....

You may be a Taliban if...

Our troops in Afghanistan show they've retained their sense of humour, coming up with the following:

'YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...'

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your backside with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbour's goat.

Budget Blues

Well, that was so exciting that I actually fell asleep listening to it. The man is quite simply so dull and yet he managed to once again take a further punch to the economy of this country.

Eleven years of stealth taxes. Eleven years of moaning and drivel about how they are going to eradicate child poverty and yet Darling says there are still around half a million children living in poverty. So that means the Labour party have failed, does it? That their policies don't work? Oh no. It means that they need to take yet more of your hard earned money and waste it. Instead of encouraging people to go back to work, through a higher personal allowance for example, they're going to make it even more attractive to have a child and sit around letting hard working tax payers pay for you.

And once again we were robbed with the excuse of trying to save a few mangy polar bears who aren't in trouble anyway, all in the name of 'green'. Watermelon, more like. Green on the outside and deep red on the inside.

And how is the rise in duty on booze going to have any effect on 'binge drinking' when you can still buy eight cans of strong lager in a supermarket for the price of a pint? All that does is harm pubs which are closing at a rate of 4 a day anyway thanks in large part to the smoking ban. Raising the price of drink just makes it more likely that people will stay at home because they will get better value for money and can smoke. Hurrah.

Along with the slipping through of the 'I know we're broke and already wasting far too much money, but spending is going to be £20bn higher in the next four years than I announced in October' we're also going to be having road pricing, and I wonder if the money 'put aside' for funding will be used for Galileo at all?

Still, he does have one thing going for him. He's so dull that people just glaze over and he gets away with it. I went one step further. I fell asleep.

The Chancellor, delivering his Budget, is the only person allowed to imbibe alcohol in the Chamber.

The rest of us, however, need to drink to cope with how much more of our money is being taken and wasted by the government.

More money than sense?

Do you have more money than sense? Are you easily persuaded to believe crack pot theories and political ideas? Do you have no grasp of economics but also a few quid going spare?

Then why not call the BNP nazi ranting'information'hotline.



A snip at £1 a minute. Of course, it will cost more than a minute because as we are mentally retarded we speak quite slowly....

Call us and help fund our nasty party full of socialists, homophobes and racists who think that they should control most every aspect of your life.

Go on! What have you got to lose? Apart from money, time and the inconvenience of trying to stop your ears bleed...

I wish Ashton was dropped

Apparently Jonny Wilkinson was the only one who played badly in Scotland, according to Brian Ashton so he has been dropped for the team playing Ireland on Saturday. He has been replaced by Cipriani who I think should have been playing at Full Back last weekend but there we go.

Am glad I sold my ticket to Twickenham.

And just for the ladies:

understatement of the day

London-based clients of the international prostitution ring at the centre of the FBI investigation into New York governor Eliot Spitzer will be hoping they are not revealed as "Client 6" in the next few days.

I should imagine not.

incompetent broadcasting

Andrew Gilligan pointed out in the Evening Standard yesterday that Ken Livingstone cannot seem to open his mouth without lying about something:

Both the Mayor, Ken Livingstone, and his main rival, Boris Johnson, recently made separate appearances on the BBC's Vanessa Feltz show.

Each answered questions from callers and from Ms Feltz for the same length of time. Allowing for the questions, news and travel bulletins and station promos, Mr Livingstone spoke for approximately 35 minutes. In that time, he said 36 things that were untrue or misleading, an average of one every 58 seconds.

Over the same length of time Mr Johnson said 11 things that were untrue or misleading, an average of one every three minutes 10 seconds.

What has really annoyed me is that if the evening standard can work out that they are saying untrue things, then why did Vanessa Feltz let them go unchallenged for 30 minutes? Surely as a broadcaster with a large audience, funded by the tax payer naturally, she has a duty to pull them up when they spout shit? Or is she just completely unaware of politics, in which case, why is she presenting a show which deals with politics? People use the media to find out about candidates and the position of London Mayor is an important one. I happen to think that when people read a paper or listen to the radio they should at least be able to get some semblance of truth rather than listening to a crook and a giggly fat bottle blonde. At least Boris is intelligent.

It's like when we were calling people up about the vote on the Lisbon Treaty in the European Parliament. Most people working in broadcasting didn't have the first clue it was going on, or even that MEPs were voting on it. Some didn't even know that MEPs did vote on it, let alone that the parliament actually has a bigger say than Westminster over it. And they decide what news is and what people get to listen to. It worries me, it really does.

Not only do I pay for EU waste in my taxes, but some fuckhead in Strasbourg has stolen my iPod from the computer in a private office. I don't know why they bother having a lost property office there because it must be empty.

They are allowed to attack people and because I'm not an MEP I cannot make a complaint and they don't have to do anything. Fuckers.

What's wrong with this country part, oh thousands....

Apart from the fact that Shirley Williams gets airtime and that the RFU hasn't fired Brian Ashton yet, is this idea that everything in life has to be lovely and easy and sugar coated.
For example, the Association of Teachers and Lecturers think that primary school children shouldn't have any homework. And we didn't have to wait too long before the usual 'unfair on poor children' angle was thrown into the school dinner:

"Middle-class children can go home and get help with their homework; disadvantaged children can't and then they get in trouble,

What a crock of shit. And notice they don't use middle-class and working-class, but simply imply it through 'disadvantaged' as they know perfectly well that there are thousands of working class parents out there helping their children with their schooling and encouraging them and making them do their homework.

Trixy's sister is a teacher and setting and marking of homework is just part of the job, like the long holidays, but I think this new whinge from the left is just a way to do less work.

The union's motion, to be discussed at the conference in Torquay, will say:

"Conference notes with deep concern that many children in our schools appear unhappy and anxious.

"Children should be able to explore, experiment and enjoy their learning without feeling pressurised.

"Homework has become an increasing pressure placed on children in primary and secondary schools."

Don't tell me, no one can win on sports day as it's the taking part that counts and you can't stream children in case someone gets called a 'divvy D' for being in the D group maths. (which happened at my school and then they changed it to C2 so the name was changed to divvy C2 except by my father who mentioned that changing the name was silly when he was at parents' evening and still kept on asking my friends why they were a divvy D.)

Children should get on with learning instead of running around the school hall waving bits of chiffon to make sure they aren't repressed. I don't see how not being able to add up and form a sentence will make them happy when they are older and in a dead end job.

ID cards...how money can be made

Despite them saying that ID cards would be delayed because the government appear to have a fondness for losing information, naturally they are going to press ahead with their fascist plans.

As a reader of Private Eye, I am wondering why the BBC included a comment from David Blunkett, which said:

Former Home Secretary David Blunkett, who introduced the initial identity card scheme, has previously said it would not work unless everyone had to have a card.

Because as declared in his register of members interests, Blunkett is a paid adviser to the Texan security firm Entrust which is interested in bidding for the ID card programme.

# Chair of International Advisory Committee to Entrust Inc. (from 1 March 2007); company providing internet security systems. (£25,001-£30,000)

It doesn't strike me that he is the best person to go to for a disinterested comment on the subject.

who?

I was on college green having a ciggie today when the Lib Dems who were breaking the three line whip (It really does take the Lib Dems to have a three line whip on not actually doing anything) came over to be interviewed

I was rather amused to hear the broadcast chaps talking sotto voce asking who these supposed important people were...Lib Dem front bench on what? Who?

PM talks bollocks

I can't believe, well, no, I can believe, that Gordon Brown just said that people who thought the Lisbon Treaty was the same as the EU Constitution were alone in Europe.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel

"The fundamentals of the Constitution have been maintained in large part. We have renounced everything that makes people think of a state, like the flag and the national anthem." El Pais (25 June)
German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier

The mandate approved by the EU will "preserve the substance of the constitutional treaty". Agence Europe (25 June)
Spanish Prime Minister Jose Zapatero

"A great part of the content of the European Constitution is captured in the new treaties", Zapatero said. "Everyone has conceded a little so that we all gain a lot", added Zapatero. El Pais (25 June)
Irish Taoiseach Bertie Ahern

"Given the fact that there was strong legal advice that the draft constitution in 2004 would require a referendum in Ireland, and given the fact that these changes haven't made any dramatic change to the substance of what was agreed back in 2004, I think it is likely that a referendum will be held... thankfully they haven't changed the substance - 90 per cent of it is still there."

On the change of name for the EU Foreign Minister he said: "It's the original job as proposed but they just put on this long title - High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy and also vice President of the Commission. It's the same job [.] it's still going to be the same position." Irish Independent (24 June)
Danish PM Anders Fogh Rasmussen

"The good thing is...that all the symbolic elements are gone, and that which really matters - the core - is left." Jyllands-Posten (25 June)
Finland's Europe Minister Astrid Thors

"There's nothing from the original institutional package that has been changed" TV-Nytt, (23 June)
Finland's State Secretary for EU Affairs Jari Luoto

There are few differences between it and "the constitutional treaty which has already been ratified by Finland's Parliament". YLE News
Elmar Brok MEP

"Despite all the compromises, the substance of the draft EU Constitution has been safeguarded." Euractiv (25 June)
Jo Leinen MEP

"We kept the substance of the Constitution"
Gerard Onesta MEP

"It's incredible to see what we sli pped under the carpet"
Johannes Voggenhuber MEP


Not quite then, Gordon.
"All the Constitution is there! Nothing is missing!"

R Day

I'm just looking at the research paper on the European Union (Amendment) Bill from the House of Commons Library which says:

The content of the Treaty, though not its structure, is similar in a great many respects to the EU Constitution.

I have just been trying to find an area of Justice and Home Affairs which I am being told is substantially different from the Treaty establishing a Constitution for Europe. (It was also a treaty, you see) and the only differences I can find are that there are new articles giving more power to the EU in the Lisbon Treaty than there were in the TECE and that there are EU institutions which are granted immunity. Like Europol. Policemen and their families who can't be arrested or prosecuted and who are appointed by people who are not accountable to the voters in the EU.

And today, arseholes Brown and Clegg will ensure that MPs who were elected on a manifesto of promising a referendum deny that very same referendum because they are too scared they will lose it, and their EU bubble will burst.

They haven't quite grasped the idea that they are lent power by people and they are supposed to do what we want and not what they want to do. I don't know why they are so keen on the EU. Maybe they are paid to be? Maybe they realise it's the only way they will get their socialist, communist policies through in this country?

Who knows. What I do know is that people will remember that they can't be trusted and I hope that if they don't take to the streets to protest at the fascist behaviour of our MPs they do kick them where it hurts and throw them out at the first possible opportunity. And then make them spend time in gulags to see what happens to opponents of this regime they are so enamored of. Maybe some mild violence and torture thrown in for good measure. And starvation. And endless episodes of coronation street in Flemish.

Music for plebs

It's bad enough that we have classic fm on the airwaves, with wall to wall Nessun Dorma, clapping between movements and film music masquerading as high quality classics. One of the few treats for those who listen to complete works is the annual proms where I try to listen to as much Wagner as possible and thus avoid people who normally go to glyndebourne and hum along to famous themes.

Now the Minister for Culture, Margaret Hodge, thinks that the proms aren't inclusive enough.

She praised "icons of a common culture" from Coronation Street to the Angel of the North and said culture could "enhance a sense of shared identity".

I don't watch Coronation Street, it's a pile of shite. I like to listen to great music played by great musicians. What does Hedgehog want? Mahler's Symphony in D minor followed by some Drum and Bass excerpts and then some reggae?

These people must be terrified of upsetting anyone but white people and embarrassed and scared of promoting our cultural traditions. I hope this encourages more people to go to the proms and stick two fingers up to the stupid cow.

Here comes the....er....

Given that the Tory Party are all about the social left these days; wind farms on our hats, hugging each other and staying well away from the notion of tax cuts being a good thing, I was rather surprised that the esteemed organ of the party on t'interweb has chosen not to say anything about the forthcoming double-frocked nuptials of Alan Duncan.
The Telegraph reported that David Cameron was "thrilled" about it, having embraced same sex marriages in his first conference speech, so why was it not even mentioned in Tory Diary? Surely the first member of the shadow cabinet getting hitched to another chap is worthy of comment besides a link to the Telegraph story?

Or perhaps the powers that be at ConHome Towers are none too keen on this piece of news? The mutterings that reach my pretty shell-likes do tell me that someone high up and his virtuous and religion led bedtime companion are not fans of Steps or Abba tribute bands...

When there's nothing else left

I was not that surprised that the coverage of two protestors on a crane was not given anywhere near the coverage as a few hippies how clearly never have to travel on business. Indeed, it was not even mentioned on the today programme, but we know that particular show to have very clear views on the EU anyway.

What made me scream was the comments of that liar Jim Murphey, still insisting that they are the guardians of knowledge and that the Lisbon Treaty is not in any way the EU Constitution in a different pair of shoes.
He said:

"The place to make these decisions is in this chamber, not on a crane half-way above the city sky of London.

Seemingly, in his socialist ignorance, failing to see that the time has passed for trusting MPs to represent us since most of them are breaking their manifesto pledge to us by refusing to hold the referendum promised.

Does he not understand that people coming from all over the country, climbing cranes and risking being locked up for this issue means that for most people now, the time has come to take action ourselves?

The vote on the referendum amendment will take place tomorrow. I hope that everyone causes their MP as much bother as possible in the process of informing them that they want them to carry out the wishes of the electorate.

On a tangent, but stil rather important, the Irish referendum will be taking place on the 29th May 2008. The EU wanted to keep this a secret for as long as possible to harm the No side, but I feel that they can fuck off.

Angela Merkel will also be changing the times of her visit so not to jeopardise the yes campaign (or scare the children) and, true to form, they will be hiding forthcoming legislation which they know will be unpopular and also highlight how they have been lying about this treaty just being about tidying up.

I do hope that people realise what it is we are dealing with. Parliamentary democracy in this country is slipping away into the ether. They only represent themselves.

How to be a Tory MEP

Be a female, blonde assistant in Brussels, don't turn up for work very often and repeatedly call your mum and talk about Tesco products, it seems...

Don't worry about not having a job in the real world, you'll be in Brussels and no one will care so you can have the time of your life!

Confused

I find it rather odd that the EU have just fined Microsoft £630 million for breaking EU competition law (from the people who refuse to let dissent be shown in the Parliament...).

Today's penalty was for breaches of EU competition policy dating back to March 2004. The company was fined for charging "unreasonable" prices for access to crucial software information to enable its rivals to operate in a market dominated by Microsoft.

When I worked in Brussels, and even before I changed my computer here to a Mac the only software we were allowed to use was Microsoft. It does rather confuse me. If it's so bad, why do they spend millions and millions on their products? And their fines to the EU, I presume (even though it's people across the EU who would have suffered but what do they get back, eh? fuck all, just their money spend on EU propaganda so the EU can have more money) that they would at least use some of it buying microsoft products.

Greenies on the roof

I've just popped over to the House of Commons and of course this lovely protest by people who never need to use Heathrow Airport. I use it a lot, and live very close to the airport and I want a third runway. Heathrow is a hub and if we don't get extra capacity then the hub will move to somewhere like Charles de Gaulle and lots and lots of people will lose their jobs.

Not that the communist greens care about that. When they came to give a lecture at my school, they made it clear that it was all about rich people paying other people not to work, and people who worked in factories making cars and the such would be paid to sit at home and knit knickers.

It's quite clear that they were let in to the Houses of Parliament by a passholder as the lift they needed to use to get on that part of the roof requires a badge. Also the banners were so long that they couldn't have just got through by themselves as security would have stopped them.

What amused me about the whole thing was a policeman saying to someone 'If you hear a loud thud, we've shot them.'

This attitude was quite popular amongst the people I spoke to, particularly those whose view was being blocked by the banners. Alas, the windows up there don't open so yanking them down was not an option.

Why don't they go get a job and contribute to the economy, instead of trying to ruin it and take us back to the dark ages?

I'm sure I've seen this before..

Neil O'Brien, director of the I Want a Referendum campaign, accused the Lib Dems of having "chickened out" of calling for a referendum on the treaty.

Open Europe, or Better Off In as I call them, hate UKIP and won't have anything to do with them (except drink drinks they are bought by UKIP members) but they're happy to take our phrases, eh?

Just go, will you

Speaker Michael Martin, it's time for you to go.

Your wife spends our money on taxi fares to supermarkets when you clearly don't need more food, and people like me walk. You use our money to get free flights. And you can't do your job properly.

You are supposed to be independent yet such is your slavish devotion to the Labour Party you are overriding the wishes of the people who put you in your job.

We voted for parties who promised us a referendum, and you will not even allow amendments mentioning any r word to be debated and voted, and yet this is the biggest issue surrounding this Constitutional Treaty. For an entire political party to leave the chamber rather illustrates how irritated you have made any MPs who aren't in the government.

Do your job properly, or fuck off.

Article by Nigel Farage

As you probably know, I look on the EU as the USSR budged a bit west. Here is an article by UKIP leader Nigel Farage which may convince a few of you who still think the EU is a jolly good idea, that it really isn't.

'When the Nice Treaty was passed in 2001, UKIP noted that Article 191 would lead to EU funding for political parties. More importantly, we said that once the state funds parties, it begins to have power to approve their existence or not. When I pointed out that this could lead to parties like UKIP disappearing, I was told, 'It couldn't happen here'.

IN Portugal, UKIP has a good relationship with a Eurosceptic party called PND, led by Manuel Montiero, a former MP and MEP for the Portuguese Conservative Party. It is fiercely opposed to the EU Constitution and, like us, wants to regain control of fishing waters from the EU.

The PND has already achieved some success with an MP in the regional parliament of Madeira and, in the absence of a referendum in Portugal, expects to win MEP seats in 20090. But in a couple of months' time it might not exist.

A new law comes into force in Portugal in March 2008 that states that political parties must have 5,000 registered members or they will be declared illegal. The names and addresses of the members must be given to the Portuguese authorities.

Of the 14 political parties that exist in Portugal alone, only four will be allowed to exist after March 2008.

This situation is truly incredible. It allows existing parties to stay in place forever and to prevent new parties and new ideas from ever being born.

We are in a political union with Portugal as EU members. I have seen the new mood of intolerance towards opposition to the EU in Brussels and Strasbourg. Could it ever happen here?'

I can, alas, see it happening here. It's one of the reasons I am so massively against the state funding of political parties, because it just hinders entrance to the market, as it were, which isn't on in a democracy.

However, democracy appears to be a dirty word these days in the eyes of our leaders.

Chicken Run

Here is the video from the fun in Strasbourg last week!

Another reason not to like Cameron

Cameron says he will vote for the abortion limit to be reduced to 21 weeks.

MPs, particularly odious ones such as Mad Nad, want to limit the rights of women to be in charge of their own bodies.

Mr Cameron told the Daily Mail today: "I would like to see a reduction in the current limit, as it is clear that, due to medical advancement, many babies are surviving at 24 weeks.

"If there is an opportunity in the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, I will be voting to bring this limit down from 24 weeks."

The government, on the other hand, aren't planning to reduce the limit because, as Gordon Brown's spokesman says,

""At the moment, the key organisations in the medical profession are not pressing for a review in this area.

"For example, both the British Medical Association and the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists have said they do not believe there is a case for changing the time limits for abortion."

Mad Nad has previously said of the Abortion Bill:

The Abortion Act of 1967 was based on lies and more lies. It was an appallingly drafted piece of legislation which, under intense pressure from the abortion rights lobby, allowed the present day situation of abortion used as a form of contraception to occur.

As I have said before,

Some people do get pregnant and don't want to be. And that's not because they're sluts and whores who are going to hell, it's because they are fertile. Contraception fails, regularly. I have a few friends now who have fallen pregnant when they were using contraception. Some now have children, some don't.

Who are you, Ms Dorries, to decide over the future of their bodies? Decide over your own, please, but not mine, not my sister's, my friends' or anyone Else. Just bugger off with your sanctimonious religious clap trap and let the rest of us live our lives.

Now I can add 'Who are you, David Cameron' to that same argument.
Grrr.

Nigel Farage does not employ his son. Mr Farage is not being investigated by OLAF.

The claims by Foggo were noticably not being picked up by other papers, including the Mail on Sunday which considers itself no friend of UKIP, because there was no evidence.

It's just chip on shoulder stuff.

The Euro Elite are panicking

As the Telegraph reported this morning, there is a bit of a to-do with regards to MEP finances because the whole thing is a fucking sham.

The parliament have sent out a statement saying that they are looking at reform, but they are not letting the anti fraud body, OLAF, see the secret report.

Just a few moments ago, the nasty president of the european parliament, Herr Pottering, set out an e-mail:
Dear colleague,

May I remind you of the notice of 19 November 2007 in which I invited you to update, pursuant to Rule 9 of and Annex I to the Rules of Procedure, your declaration of financial interests for 2007.

Since that declaration has not yet reached the competent Secretariat service, please allow me to draw your attention to the fifth paragraph of Article 2 of Annex I to the Rules of Procedure, which states:
‘If after the appropriate request a Member does not fulfil his obligation to submit a declaration pursuant to (a) and (b), the President shall remind him once again to submit the declaration within two months. If the declaration has not been submitted within the time-limit, the name of the Member together with an indication of the infringement shall be published in the minutes for the first day of each part-session after expiry of the time-limit. If the Member continues to refuse to submit the declaration after the infringement has been published the President shall take action in accordance with Rule 147 to suspend the Member concerned’.

Accordingly, please forward your declaration of financial interests, within two months starting from today, to the following address:
Members’ Activities Unit
PHS 2A19/Brussels - tel. 44052
LOW H00.057/Strasbourg - tel. 74622

I would also remind you that, following the Bureau decision of 4 April 2001 concerning the publication on the Internet of the register of Members’ financial interests, an electronic registration and publication system have been introduced with the aim of facilitating the submission of your declaration. You will find the relevant form at the following web address:
http://www.europarl.ep.ec/inside/members/financial/dif_en.htm

The Members’ Activities Unit will be happy to provide any further information you may require.

Hans-Gert PÖTTERING

Strikes me that Mr Pottering is panicking and wants to make sure that no one can tar him with the same brush as naughty MEPs...

When UKIP found someone who had done something wrong they got rid of him. Most UKIP MEPs have a chartered accountant to deal with their finances.

I suspect that when this report does finally come out it will be fraud on a scale you can't believe.

Was it his tired and emotional state that made Tory MEP Christopher Beazley vote in favour of the Lisbon Treaty yesterday in Strasbourg?

He clearly thinks that such a decision was in the interests of the country because he asked UKIP leader Nigel Farage if he could borrow the union flag which was on his desk.

I am also wondering why the Tory MEPs didn't vote in favour of referendums in individual countries. I know wankers like Richard Corbett say that to vote in favour of a referendum in a parliament would be hypocritial, but that's because he's willing to say anything that would make the likelihood of a referendum impossible.

Firmly believes that, since the choice involved will have a profound impact on the future, a European treaty should be ratified in all the Member States by means of a referendum, following a pluralist debate on the substance of the treaty and the issues at stake

Or perhaps, he's going to go back to his constituency and tell people how awful the Labour government are for their behaviour over this treaty? And we'll be treated to David Cameron and William Hague telling the public that the Tories would give a referendum whilst their MEPs don't seem to agree. I wonder when it comes to election time if they'll tell their voters what they did...

Who knows.

It does go without saying, however, that the Labour and Lib Dems voted for further integration without asking the people or honouring their parties manifesto pledges at every opportunity.