Firstly, I must apologise to Mr Eugenides for mocking him when he revealed his love for Wendy Alexander.
For I to now realise the trauma of being in love with a member of the Labour party. It is a passion which I am almost too frightened to say, although the first hurdle of admitting it to The Devil has been passed. A hurdle from which I emerged relatively unscathed, save a text message informing me that I should be beaten to death with my own womb, filled with rusty spanners.
Dear readers: I am in love with David Miliband.
It is he who occupies my mind in disturbing dreams involving a vat biofuels, a wind turbine and a feather bower. Just look at the fire in his eyes when he talks about renewable energy, watch his temper flare when questioned about the Lisbon Treaty and the suggestion that maybe it is somewhat similar to the EU Constitution. That figure, hidden beneath well cut suits would ripple with muscles just waiting to be unleashed on a fragrant and willing Trixy.
By day, a New Labour Foreign Secretary but by night a wild, ardent and sexual lover.
And yet, dear readers, they are calling for this political adonis to be fired!
The foreign secretary had "overstepped the line", Geraldine Smith said, while fellow MP Bob Marshall-Andrews accused him of "duplicitous" behaviour.
The Guardian article discussed Labour's future without mentioning Mr Brown.
And all for writing what he believed in.
Readers may notice the picture in that article and wonder whether I was there:
My message of love it seems has not been noticed by the object of my affections, and so I hope to do so in my new campaign, inspired by that other love match which never was:
Ladies and Gentlemen
I can only hope it's more successful.
"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale."