cars, planes and..no; just cars.

I cannot remember ever actually seeing the paper part of my driving license. This only became a problem a couple of years ago when I was in Brussels and I needed to hire a car, but the nice people at the DVLA in Swansea sent me a fax with the list of my entitlements on.

I never managed to get round to my local post office to get a proper second part, though. It wasn't really an issue because when I hired a car the people just called up the DVLA who confirmed I had a clean license, that sort of thing. So today when I am trying to hire a car, I stumbled across a slight problem. The company with the car didn't have the facility to do that and needed a paper bit. 'Right', thought I, for I often come up with very profound statements in a crisis situation. 'I'd better call up the DVLA'.

I didn't press 0 to find out what this over payments on driving tests fiasco was and after listening to some Welsh sing song tones, and not asking them where the Atomic Power Station was in the language of the Celts or whoever but I finally managed to speak to a human being. They informed me that I can only get a fax from them if I am abroad. If I live in the UK then, essentially, I can go fuck myself.

Well, I wasn't going to let that deter me. So, Minge got the fax number of his Paris office and Gaby there said of course she would fax it back to us in the UK. Cue long story to the DVLA about being at a work conference abroad and needing to drive down to Bordeaux where the MD has gone without signing some forms. Anyway, £5 later and I am told the fax is on the way to Paris.

So, now that is being faxed to the hire rental people who, actually didn't seem to care too much. Maybe that's because the card part of my license has all my entitlements on it too. So, one Renault Clio is soon to be mine for the weekend and then I can go to Cornwall and enjoy the lovely sunshine and not the clotted cream or strawberries because I am still on bloody Atkins. Which I hate.

Ah, the bliss to be leaving the home counties, and not having to take public transport....

Dear Readers, I am close to marrying him.