Headline of the Day

THAMES THREATENED BY ALIEN MUSSEL INVASION

Zebra mussels are taking over the bottom of the Thames and are threatening the water supply. Which will make a change from the water companies threatening the water supply for being a bit shit, and the EU for making them waste millions of pounds making sure stuff that isn't going to do any harm getting into the water supply or do any harm if it did, rather than invest in the old pipes.