Christmas is cancelled

As Santa has moved to Brussels:

We settled into our new premises at Tours and Taxis. Then things started to go seriously wrong. Off to the Commune to register - they asked what was the nature of my work? “Well, I sneak into children's bedrooms when they're asleep, and if they're good I give them a present.” Eventually I got released from the cells. Apparently, I'm on some sort of 'watch list' now.

DG Environment come round to discuss my carbon emissions. They decide to make an impact assessment. Commissioner Dimas turns up in the reindeer shed: “What is the carbon footprint of a reindeer fart?” “Let's find out,” I say, grab him and stuff his head up Prancer's backside. One of the Elves filmed it on their mobile phone and had uploaded it to You Tube before I could stop laughing.

Go read the whole thing.