have just been sent this press release

UKIP furious over England so-called defeat*


The UK Independence Party have reacted with outrage to the England soccer team defeat by Croatia; a country not even in the EU.

Long serving Chinese member Mr Xen Aphobia said that news that Portuguese Jose Mourhino was to be the next England manager was in "direct conflict" with Gordon Browns British jobs for British workers promise.

"It is up to the EU to overturn this scandalous result" said Mr Aphobia. "Several EU rules were broken quite blatantly."

"For a start Croatia were at fault for not having any disabled people in their squad whereas England obeyed the rules and played a partially sighted goalkeeper. They were also well short of the correct ratio for ethnic minorities.

"Croatia blatantly discriminated by having no females in their squad while England had an old woman as their manager.

"The match was played in appalling conditions." said Mr Aphobia. "Where is the global warming the EU promised us?"

"And surely the EU Commissioner for Competition will have to take action. Croatia played on a poor, rain affected pitch just last week and England didn't.

"Croatia had more players to pick from while McClaren only has 77, not all of whom were fit, because the Premier League is full of people coming in from all over Europe thanks to the EU open borders policy.

Commenting on the sacking of Steve McClaren Mr Aphobia said, "This again strikes at the heart of EU policy. It must infringe on his Human rights. Surely it has never been an EU rule that not being very good at your job is a reason to be sacked."

"We will be calling for the EU to overturn this result."

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Note

*this is a joke