Monday, October 06, 2008

Your time will come, my darling

Let joy be unconfined as the news trips from the lips of our mighty leaders to fill our hearts with such bliss as we didn't know existed. As the nation wearily treads the path of economic inevitability, a glimmer of hope like a rainbow glimpsed through thundery storm clouds, the first snowdrops to push their way through the hard, winter earth; for can such news be anything other than to know that a corner has been turned?

David Blunkett could return to the Cabinet in a Gordon Brown ' Government of the living dead'.

The speculation in Westminster is that Mr Blunkett - another double disgraced minister like Peter Mandelson - could be made Labour's elections supremo ahead of crucial town hall and European polls next June, and a General Election in 2010.

In a TV interview new Business Secretary Mr Mandelson, who had been tipped for the elections job, said cryptically: 'I think you will find someone else affirmed in that role - someone I know and trust and admire.'

With such news, I think it is time to remind ourselves of the David Blunkett Policy Maker:

Of course, less good is the news for my beloved, David Miliband, who has a new obstacle in the way of his inevitable rise to the top.*
Meanwhile, Labour insiders revealed that a bitter row was raging over Mr Mandelson's recall – and its devastating impact on David Miliband's Labour leadership ambitions.

One senior Minister said: 'Peter's return means David Miliband's hopes of getting Gordon out are dead and buried.

'If Miliband wants to challenge Gordon he has to get past Peter first, and he wouldn't dare.'

I shouldn't worry too much: It's clear that given the return of two such laughable and monumentally disliked figures what Gordon Brown is trying to do is to stop himself being the most hated person in the cabinet. A wise move, of sorts, but it shows his weakness. And in the mean time, I'll back you up and give that MEAN MANDELSON what for in the best tradition of a fag hag: I shall relentlessly criticise his shoes.

Your time will come but for now I would let the public remove those two men standing in the way of your dream and then you can rise like a phoenix from the ashes and bring back the spectacle of the is-it-left-or-is-it-right-of-centre Labour party whose policies and raison d'etre no one is quite sure of.

And then where will Peter bloody Mandelson be, eh? Not in your shadow cabinet of talents, I'll be damned. Perhaps in David Cameron's given the 'attractive' hoodie he is wearing in that photo, complete with shoes which don't match. But not in yours.

And then he'll wish he stayed in his cushy job in the European Commission, the, the...TURD!

Am not the only one who feels slightly light headed at the prospect of Mr Miliband as I copy this photo from a blog post entitled: 'Dreamiest Foreign Secretary'

*of the Labour party, obviously, not the country


Mr Eugenides said...

"Arrest Guardian readers, and then put their children in care" is a votewinner.

Hell, even I'd vote for Blunkett if he promised that.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Trixy, baby, really, I've tried. But the only way that he would ever look remotely attractive is with a paper bag over his head. He's got bigger teeth than me!

Blokes use doggy style as a way of keeping the hideous visage out of range, can I assume that you'd be working on the same basis?

Trixy said...

Eugenides, am convinced you're a closet Guardian reader, if only to ensure you could have a witty repartee with the lovely Wendy should you two ever bump into each other.

And Clown: it's never just the one.