Sunday, January 07, 2007


I think I have leprosy. Woke up yesterday covered in hideous and horribly itchy rash. Even more annoying is that DK would not let me scratch myself until I bled - kept saying that it 'would make it worse'. Not quite sure, of course, how it could be worse: my plans for today were to go to a park and scare children since that is how ugly I look.

Still, at least I didn't have to spend 7 hours in hospital yeserday waiting to be diagnosed and given approproate drugs to deal with it. Oh no, I did. And I had to say the same thing over and over again to a variety of different medical staff who clearly didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me, whilst the whole time DK sat there and read his book.

And I still don't know what is wrong with me, although I do look like I have leprosy. Of course, if it was leprosy I wouldn't be able to feel how much my skin was on fire, which would be nice. I would still be able to see how hideous I looked, though.

At least I'm not as sick as the NHS, though. They really are in dire fucking straits. One pharmacist for the whole hospital for the weekend? An hour to see an 'urgent' case...the mad old bat in the cubicle next to me got seen to pretty quickly after she moaned and shouted a lot, but the one who sits there quietly? 40 minutes to pick up a fucking sample!

Am going to go scratch myself now until my skin falls off.

UPDATE: according to my father, I don't have leprosy but very bad German Measles. He - would know, he's in counter terrorism - they have to know a lot about rashes...?


Mr Eugenides said...

Get well soon.

And if you're infectious, let me know - a friend of mine is a neighbour of Patsy Hewitt, so I can get you the address and you can rub yourself all over her mail tomorrow morning.

Trixy said...

Or I could just rub myself all over her?

Mr Eugenides said...


Trixy said...

Nu Labour love in...maybe David Milliband could watch. Until it became too much for him, of course. Then he could join in.

Fuck me, I am ill.

Prodicus said...

Is this your punishment for jeering at DK's going pink under his Factor 350? Just a thought. Get well soon.