Another day, another report

This time the Foreign Affairs select committee have ruled that UK troops in Afghan have too many different objectvies:

The military mission in Afghanistan has failed to deliver on its promises - as troops have too many tasks, MPs say.

The House of Commons Foreign Affairs Select Committee says "mission creep" had brought too many responsibilities, including fighting the drugs trade.

Well, when it comes to the drugs trade one could point out that if we legalised and controlled the things then we wouldn't be assisting the enemies of our troops. But that is far too sensible and idea and would upset people who read the Daily Mail so we'll just all crash on through regardless of fact or evidence.

I was told by someone who fought in one of the earlier OP HERRICKs that the British had told the Afghans that they would buy up the poppy harvest. However, he told me that as that was am agricultural subsidy it came under the control of the Common Agricultural Policy.

How true this is I don't know but it's something I've been trying to find out. Certainly, it sounds like the sort of nonsense which spurts from the arse end of the EU.

Listening to Radio 4 this morning I heard Kim Howells MP talking about the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. I paraphrase one of his points, for I was trying to decide what to wear at the time, but it essentially was that because the public don't like the wars then we might have to look at why we were there and, in the case of Afghan, if we still should be.

Now, mistake me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked most people in this country weren't Generals. Or, indeed, Field Marshalls. Trusting politicans is always tricky these days and trusting this government on anything military is particularly hard even without the news of the Armed Forces Compensation Scheme which some of us have been lamenting and trying to change for a while. And as for the Iraq Inquiry, more on that later. What concerns me is that we elect MPs to make decisions for us - yes, it's a pity that most of them decide to outsource it to the EU but that's the fault of the individuals rather than the set up - and then they spend their time either completely ignoring public opinion and breaking manifesto commitments or passing the buck on their responsibility which is to make decisions.

Voters do decide who gets the position of MPs but should MPs decide what to do based on what they think will make them more popular? Shouldn't they be guided by principle and take all the evidence to reach what they feel is the right decision? And then be honest about it? Politics run by PR and the readers of tabloid newspapers is no basis for a system of government. Supreme exective power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcial aquatic ceremony. Or Rebekah Wade.

A quick dash through the Iraq inquiry, for it's something I've written about before. (Indeed I've written thousands of words on the damned thing).

18 months? Why? Let's have the cabinet minutes and cross reference them with the minutes from the UN Security Council and find out if the reason we went to war was either

1) Someone can't read
2) Someone didn't want to read

and in either case, sack them.

Also has the added bonus of saving money.

Airlines - the politicians get their wish

One can hardly be surprised at the news that another airline has made collosal losses in the first three months of the financial year given the steady stream of legislation pouring from Westminster and Strasbourg designed to stop people flying.

British Airways has reported a pre-tax loss of £148m ($245m) in the three months to the end of June.

This compares with a profit of £37m in the same period last year. Its operating loss of £94m compares with a profit of £35m last year.

If we remember back to the end of 2006 when people were just getting all excited over the farce that is man made climate change:

In December, chancellor Gordon Brown announced that APD would double, meaning that economy passengers now have to pay a £10 charge for short-haul flights and £20 for long-haul. Business and first-class passengers must now pay £20 for short-haul flights and £80 for long-haul.

The tax even applies to those passengers who made bookings before the increase was announced, which struck many as unfair.

British Airways announced that it would absorb this cost but most airlines cannot afford to follow suit and are having to ask passengers to pay the difference.

As a protest at being made to act as tax collectors, easyJet managers are today manning airport check-in areas dressed as taxmen to inform surprised passengers of why they need to pay the additional fee.

I wonder how much that did actually cost BA? If I were one of their members of staff who'd said they'd work for free and take cuts to ensure the company didn't go under then I'd want Brown and his trough gobbling MPs to give me money to tide me over seeing as they supported legislation which stole money away from the airlines to give to fat people who can't be bothered to work.

The Devil has done a sterling job of this perfect example of why state interference is so fucking useless and counter productive, but as someone who works hard to afford to go to the gym and has to continually watch what she eats, I feel the need to vent some frustration.

A 25-year-old unemployed woman who was given an £8,000 operation to help her lose 16 stone is complaining because, as well as her weight loss, her benefits have been reduced.

Fuck off. Just knowing that someone thinks that's reasonable makes me want to cover her in a marquee and use her as a stunt taliban on a bayonet assault course.

Laura Ripley, who has never worked, was given the operation on the NHS to help her slim down from 38 to 22 stone.

Might I suggest that if she had to sit in an office and work she might eat a little less and therefore not be as fat and in need of a costly operation? Anyone?

But the 25-year-old, who receives £600 a month in benefits, is unhappy because as a result of losing weight she can no longer claim disability allowance amounting to an extra £340 a month. This, she says, means she cannot afford to eat healthily - causing her to pile the weight back on

She shouldn't have claimed disability benefit in the first place for it's quite evident that her ability to go shopping, buy food and then continually eat it means that she's not that limited in her movements. Perhaps she could work at a supermarket or in a cake shop? With a muzzle, obviously. Whoever said she was disabled must have hated her and wanted her to get worse and die.

I can't afford to buy WeightWatchers crisps and cereal bars any more so I eat Tesco's chocolate bars and packets of Space Invaders crisps, sometimes four of each a day', says Laura, who spends seven hours a day watching TV.

There are a couple of options here which madame munch appears not to have though of.

1. Don't eat so much? Given her size I reckon the woman could probably live off the chub on her arms for a few weeks.

2. Vegetables are quite cheap, actually. Oh, but hold on...

'People ask why I don't snack on an apple - they're cheap, but emotionally I don't always feel like an apple

.'I rarely feel like an apple. I usually feel like a glass of champagne and a cream tea but if I ate that all the time I'd be fat and unhealthy so I exercise this thing called self control. I understand that the nanny state and socialist paradise we are now living in doesn't encourage this for it might lessen the dependence on the state.

The disability allowance money she used to receive was spent on gym workouts, healthy food and having her hair highlighted.

HAVING HER CUNTING HAIR HIGHLIGHTED? What the fuck? My barnet could do with a good cut and spruce but I'm still paying the bastard tax man so evidently he can pass it on to this collosal pile of human blubber.

She adds: 'Without my disability allowance I'm left with just £210 incapacity benefit which I get because of my depression, and £100 income support I receive every two weeks and out of that I have to give them back £70 towards the cost of the £500-a-month flat I'm living in.'

*boom*

WHAT

THE

FUCK?

Right, love. Here's a new element you can incorporate into your daily programme.
Go jogging.

Firstly, it'll help your depression. It will also help you with your eating problem because if you're running you won't be able to graze continually like a daily cow and thirdly you'll actually burn some calories.

Now, I know that running is horrible and it hurts and it's boring but lots of people do it and don't die.

Since the extra allowance stopped Laura has put on a stone in just three weeks and claims she is being treated unfairly.

In a way she is being treated unfairly. She's being encouraged to slowly eat herself to death. But Johnny tax payer is also being treated unfairly as the state thinks that those who go out to work are lesser people than those who don't and deserve to pay for an underclass.

That's life in modern Britain. People work for free to try to compensate for economically damaging economic policies thought up by a ferociously greedy Chancellor and fat people get paid to not work and get fatter.

And on a final 'let's not forget how dangerous the green loonies are' note:
here's Caroline Lucas MEP saying that flying a lot is the same as stabbing someone

Swine Flu - how I see it

The world according to Godfrey Bloom

I agree with Liz Jones...

It's not that often I agree with Liz Jones, but this article really did have me nodding along as I munched my morning repast:

As a woman with no children, I am constantly outraged, too, at the way the Government heaps incentives upon prospective parents.

Money for fruit and veg, child support, baby's trust fund, help with childcare, flexible bloody working, tax breaks. Never mind the ludicrous idea of putting IVF on the NHS, as if having a baby were a God-given right and not a blessing.
I believe that women should pay for the services of a midwife and health visitor. I don't have a child in education, so how about the Government gives me some money?

Quite bloody right!

Now I know that those of us who don't want to be mothers are usually considered mental and will end up with a certain number of cats but quite frankly it's much better than having to squeeze a melon out of a lemon, lactate everywhere and have your husband run off and bang his secretary because you smell of sick.

I fail to see why I should have my money taken from me and given to other people for their lifestyle choice.

I go to the gym a lot. That's quite good for me so how about I get a gym allowance?

Or because I'm now spawning potential voters does that not count?

The true voice of the BNP

a ha ha ha ha ha

The end of an era

Harry Patch, the veteran from WW1 who only a few years ago gave an impromptu press conference when he revisited the Western Front has died only a week after the oldest man Henry Allingham also passed away.

I remembered saying to a friend at the cenotaph last year; the 90th anniversary of the end of WW1, that I thought next year there would be none left. I cried when those three men laid their wreaths, particularly Henry who was so determined to put his own down, but often when a milestone is reached the end draws closer.

When I was in Normandy for D Day 65 the veterans there were at least in their mid 80s. Soon there will be only handfuls of veterans from the second world war.

Our political classes may have forgotten the sacrafices made by the millions as the bulldoze through our democracy, liberty and culture but one only needs to look and see the numbers who wear a poppy in November to know that the public remember and give thanks.

More and more the poppy, the symbol of remembrance, represents those who have made the ultimate sacrifice recently, particularly as so many serving now have experienced losing friends.

But the poppy originated from the bloody fields of Flanders and will remain inextricably linked with those who were called up for a bloody conflict which only really finished in 1945.

We must always remember all those who fell in all conflicts and that includes when we go to the ballot box and not just in November.

The EU juggernaut

Forget bulldozing, the way the EU has been going these last few weeks since the 2009 elections has been light some juggernaut, smashing through democracy and accountability at every turn.

First of all we had the European Military poncing around like some farcical second rate Trooping of the Colour. Watching some soldiers with a huge flag, gazed at with lustful eyes so much so that it probably needed to be that big had it been kleenex, then hearing that the EU had some guarantees for the Irish reinforced my strongly held beliefs that these people will stop at nothing to get what they want.

It was much the same when it came to one of their most hated MEPs, Marta Andreasen. Unless you've been living in a box or only read the mainstream media, Marta Andreasen used to be the chief accountant of the European Commission but because it was as bent as a nine bobo note decided that she should say something about it. And so that ghastly fool Kinnock decided to sack her for 'failure to show loyalty and respect'..

Now she's a UKIP MEP in the South East Region - not that you'd know that from the newspapers because only Ambrose Evans-Prichard in the Telegraph bothered to mention the importance of it - the EU are shitting their lacy bloomers. Andreasen has been appointed to the Budgetary control committee of the European Parliament where Monday they were voting for the Chairman and Vice Chairman.

Mrs Andreasen was blocked by Christian Democrat and Socialist MEPs from becoming vice-chairman of the European Parliament's budgetary committee on Monday.

The centre-Right European People's Party and the Socialists broke parliamentary convention on the allocation of committee posts by demanding a vote by secret ballot to block Mrs Andreasen, who was elected as a Ukip MEP for South East England last month

I don't quite know how to go overboard with expressing the seriousness of this. I know that for many people the centre of politics is still Westminster and the EU is just some silly distraction. But it's a distraction which costs far more money than we can afford, takes away our civil liberties, ensures people in the developing world are kept in poverty and tramples over democracy as well as damaging our businesses and jeaoprdising our jobs.

They don't even try to pretend. A group of socialist MEPs realised that someone who actually knew the level of fraud and corruption in the EU was about to be appointed to a senior position (she was unopposed) and so took a decision to block her by secret ballot. They are so underhand and wicked that they don't even have courage in their convictions to be honest about how much they hate people trying to speak the truth.

I don't recall this ever being done before but they simply don't care. All they want is for irritating eurorealists and sceptics to fuck off and take their demands for democracy with them.

They represent you and you pay their and their staffs wages. These MEPs who voted against the only MEP in the room who had the experience of being the chief accountant - the budgetary control committee which is supposed to provide the check and balance on the EU's billions - because they had no interest in what she had to say. They didn't want her to also have the opportunity to voice her concerns to the Commission, to be in a position of authority. For that wouldn't do: those positions are only allowed to go to those who would swap the EU social model for their spouse or, if we're being continental, their lover.

Handbags at dawn in the chamber last week. Surrounded by EU flags, the EC President Barroso throws a childish fit over a small flag on the desk of Nigel Farage. They've been around since 2004 but now that Brian Crowley is not an MEP anymore, leaders of political groups sit near the front. Cue much hilarity except for Barroso who appears to be terrified of Farage.


And more evidence, should you need it, of how Britain simply doesn't fit in with the Continental way. Newly elected MEP for the South West, William, Earl of Dartmouth, was asked to show two pieces of ID when he arrived in Strasbourg.

Out came the passport showing his name as William, Earl of Dartmouth backed up by his credit card which said, er, Viscount Lewisham. Bemused looks on the faces of the staff continued when he then joked "and actually, my name's Legge!".

Er...

Britblog Roundup

Here.

brief intermission

I feel like crap. No, it's not this ridiculous 'swine flu' bullshit which is about as dangerous as a blunt cheese grater (seriously: no need to buy V for Vendetta just put the news on) but some normal bug combined with having been treated like crap by people over the last few days. One supposed good friend decided to steal 300 quid off me which is kind, so I can't go on holiday this summer. Another thought he'd just turn round after asking me to travel to the other end of the country and act like it was a surprise that I was there.

Must stop letting people mistake my desire to be a good person for some wish to be treated like a doormat.

Any pieces of advice, apart from becoming a lesbian, greatly received.

Socialists: why don't they have a sense of humour?

Given their policies and their absolute determination to ignore the lessons of history and plough every country they have power of into the dark ages you'd have thought they'd have a blinding sense of humour.

But no. Proof was given once again in Strasbourg when the woman who makes Harriet Harperson look like a decent member of society; our beloved new Minister for Europe, was giving a press conference.

I'll let another fruitloop, Mary Honeyball, set the scene:

Yesterday UKRep, the UK Permanent Representation to the European Union, held their traditional reception to welcome British MEPs to the European Parliament. It was, for me, a deeply depressing experience.

Shall we find out why it was a 'deeply depressing experience'? It's not, as you might imagine, because it was full of idiots who think Keynesian economics and ignoring the choice of the voters is a good idea.

It's much more serious than that...

Not only were most of the UKIP MEPs present; they were also accompanied by young women in fairly flimsy purple dresses...

Did you read that? Can you see how appalling that must be? Women went to an event looking good! They weren't sporting paunches and crew cuts or unattractive suits which made them look of questionable gender.

Glenys! bring the tar and I'll fetch the feathers!

It does, however, get worse. Lady G was talking about how wonderful it was that 35% of British MEPs were women and quite rightly pointed out that they needed to ensure they had something to do.

However, there were some bright spots. It was good to see British Commissioner Cathy Ashton there. The keynote address from Baroness Glenys Kinnock, Minister for Europe, was absolutely delightful. At last we have a Europe Minister who knows not only knows the subject but has years of experience as an MEP. Glenys, of course, talked about her passion, international development, and how she wished to continue contributing to Europe on the world stage.

Cue a voice from the back from that sexist beast Godfrey Bloom who said that, and I can hardly bring myself to type it, 'They can make the tea'. To add insult to injury those floozies in their dresses had the audacity to laugh. They actually laughed at a joke. Whilst wearing a dress and being a woman.

Of course, the socialists standing next to them quite rightly told them all that they should not be laughing at jokes because they weren't funny.

Godders himself thought that Mary Honeyball was playing an absolute blinder as far as humour was concerned. "Mary Honeyball's going to scratch your eyes out ladies for looking significantly more attractive than she..." he warned.

quid pro quo?

If we can just sidestep the main focus of the Blair story that he is the UK's choice to be EU President* and go to the issue that this POSITION DOES NOT EXIST AND SHOULD NOT EXIST BECAUSE THE LISBON TREATY HAS NOT BEEN RATIFIED AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WERE DENIED THE RIGHT TO HAVE THEIR SAY.

That's how much they hate you. They couldn't care less if a rabid sheep walked up to you with a SA 80 Mk II, fixed Bayonets and turned you into his Christmas tree angel with some extra intestinal tinsel. They want a federal Europe and so you'll fucking get one.

*in 2005 when Blair handed over the rebate word on the ground was he'd done it so that he'd get the presidency of the EU. And here we are.

Health and Safety in a warzone and throwing washing machines

Lots of people in the military smoke. I was chatting to a couple of Riflemen the other day, as we were all chain smoking, about it and we came to the conclusion that soldiers smoke a lot because there's an awful lot of hanging around to do.

Yes, it's bad for us. Smokers know that. We've chosen to take the risks associated and by god do we pay the price every time we hand over the money for a pack of 20. But then I personally don't take other risks. I don't eat meat, I exercise an awful lot and I don't stick my head in a gas oven for kicks.

It's part of being human and part of being an adult. We have the responsibilities that that comes with such as not plunging knives into people and going to work to pay for the cost of living (some of us) and in return we are supposed to be allowed to make decisions on what we do with our lives: be that have a couple too many on a Friday night or a weekend screeching down a mountain on a bike. It's our lives, it should be our choice.

It's unfortunate that successive governments have decided that we aren't nearly as intelligent as they are and that our lives need to be monitored and analysed in order for us to live as they wish us to. Smoking is bad ergo we shouldn't do it. Not even if we want to.

We should be told what to eat, what to drink and how often to go for a walk and I can only imagine that in a few years time some white aproned middle aged nurse will do house to house calls where they shove a hose up your bum and flush it all out of you.

Pity then, the current serving personnel in the American military. Their tours, unlike British personnel, are about 13-16 months which is a fucking long time away from family.

American troops are not to be banned from smoking in war zones, the US Defence Department says...Mr Morrell said the Pentagon would examine the recent study to see what else could be done to move towards banning tobacco in the military.

He said: "Obviously it is not our preference to have a force that is using tobacco products."

Luckily they appear to have a sensible Defence Secretary

Pentagon spokesman, Geoff Morrell, said US troops were already making enough sacrifices in Iraq and Afghanistan.

He said Robert Gates, the US defence secretary, did not want to add to the stress of the troops by taking away their right to smoke.

I'd like to think the MoD would also come up with the same line but to be honest, I think the money on that survey would be better spent on equipment, training and welfare. Call me old fashioned.

It's the bare faced cheek of telling people who face the daily risk of having their arse blown through their ears that smoking 'is bad for them' which makes me want to reach for something large and heavy. No shit, Sherlock, but then so is going out on patrol.

It's about choice.

Sticking with throwing large, heavy objects, I was pointed in the direction of the BBC news Northern Ireland website this morning.
Not to be outdone by their military friends, locals have taken to throwing washing machines at the police.


Who needs clean pants when there's a fight to be had?

Don't talk to the Eurosceptics

Former President of the European Parliament Hans Gert Pottering has been in fine form this week, clearly demonstrating why people around the continent point and call him a fascist.

Ja, Ja. Seig Heil!

Hans-Gert Pöttering, the outgoing President of the Parliament, urged MEPs to unite to freeze "anti-Europeans" out of the decision-making process for the next five years..."I think it is very important that the pro-European MEPs co-operate well so the anti-Europeans cannot make their voices heard so strongly," Mr Pöttering said.

This is the man who decided to stop eurosceptics from participating fully in their role as MEPs and, most importantly, stop them from representing the people who elected them, by snatching arbitrary powers straight from a 1930s history text book.

Hans-Gert openly admitted that the behaviour of his Euro-sceptic opponents was within the rules. And he wasn’t asking to change those rules a procedure that would take time. No, he simply wanted permission to disregard them. Permission was duly granted, by 20 committee votes to 3.

Hans-Gert’s letter is worth quoting in full:

Dear Mr Leinen, [Jo Leinen, a German Socialist, is Chairman of the Constitutional Affairs Committee]

In the course of the current part session, Parliament was confronted on several occasions with procedural requests which were formally based on and fulfilled the requirements of a provision of the Rules of Procedure, but which according to the full conviction of myself and of other Members of the House were moved with the intention of obstructing the procedures of the House...

For those of you not aware of how the European Parliament decided to celebrate the 2009 - 2014 session, here's a quick reminder:

Leading the ceremony in Strasbourg, a detachment of combat troops marched to the overture of The Force of Destiny by Verdi, before raising an EU flag twice the size of the national flags around it to a military bugle call.

The troops - drawn from the Eurocorps member states of Germany, France, Spain, Belgium and Luxembourg - then stood to attention to a full orchestral and choral rendition of Ode to Joy.

So that's nice. But it's probably best for our MPs and press corps over here to concentrate on nice, important things like, er, duck houses. Let's let the euroweenies fight and bicker about their important issues well away from the glare of the media and the public eye and then have a tantrum every few months when some summit or new treaty gets put forward and we don't get a referendum on it.

Important, dignified parliamentary behaviour such as this beauty from Tory MEP Nirj Deva who spluttered

What has distressed me is that the EPP is doing deals with the Socialists and the Alliance of Liberals and Democrats, rather than doing deals with us. On policy areas we should work together.

Do deals.

DO DEALS.

Thanks, Nirj. Nice to know where we all stand on that transparency and being truly part of a eurosceptic group. Good to know Tory MEPs are not pining for the power, the fois gras, the plush offices and champagne receptions that being part of the biggest group allows.

Because although the European Election campaign was most notable for the complete lack of debate about the EU I'm sure David Cameron was whining on at some point about wanting to bring back powers.

Yes, so we know he can't really without renegotiating treaties, but it's good to at least vote against those directives you're supposed to want to 'bring back to Westminster'?

Isn't it?

Joined up government part deux

Honestly. With this lot it never rains but it pours.

Yesterday the Today programme put on for my catharsis* the chairman of the Charity Commission to talk about why they think that private schools don't provide a public good. Apparently providing thousands of children with a decent education and relieving the state sector from having to find places for even more children isn't actually a benefit to our society.

The Independent Schools Council says that the Charity Commission's decision has been based too much on the level of bursaries available - without taking into account contributions such as sharing facilities with other local schools.

"We are deeply disappointed with the approach taken by the Charity Commission, which focuses on the amount of means tested bursaries provided by each school," said David Lyscom, chief executive of the Independent Schools Council.

"The implication of the commission's findings appears to be that many schools must now aim to provide a significant, but still unspecified, proportion of their turnover in full bursaries. This will inevitably lead to fee increases."

Mr Lyscom also challenged the Charity Commission to recognise the collective benefit of the independent school sector, which he says saves the taxpayer £3bn per year.

It started off with a cracker when Dame Suzi Leather** was asked if she was a member of any political party, to see if the decision that focusing entirely on social manipulation or if it had anything to do with merit goods, she replied that she was a member of the Labour Party. Well fancy that.

Someone who is a paid up member of the Labour Party wants to assist in closing down schools which are fee paying and have entrance requirements based on ability.
I'm sure it's absolutely nothing to do with jealousy and social engineering. I mean, the fact that parents who send their children to private school also pay for the state education of other children is just something that they've had to put up with, as a choice they themselves have made.

And then today, we have this little gem:

A fifth of English local authorities are reporting increased pressure on school places due to the recession, the Local Government Association says.

One reason may be parents abandoning private education to save money.

Education is not recession proof, it would seem. Well, no surprise there: private school fees have been rocketing for years and in no small part due to the fact that many state schools out there have more in common with a zoo than they do a place of learning.

It's no real surprise with this government: I marked some SATS papers a few weeks ago and the view from the teachers marking was that the papers were so much easier than last year; a fact which was put down to the knowledge of a forthcoming General Election where the government will want to boast about more children achieving the required level in English and Maths.

So, pressure on state schools is rising and an apparent Labour apparatchik at the Charity Commission is trying to ensure that fewer and fewer parents can afford to send all their children to private school.

Wow.

Soon we'll all be as uneducated as the policy makers.

*Tis required at the moment. Managed to get involved with another complete arsehole

**Go read the wiki entry. Someone's done a fucking great job.

joined up government

News this week was that our beloved government wants to take us all back to the dark ages by cutting carbon via the medium of having these:

as our energy solutions.

Climate Tsar Ed Miliband (the unhot one) admitted that this will mean fuel prices will rise as relying on wind for our energy supply is as sensible as allowing Gary Glitter to look after your young daughters.

Instead of something sensible for a policy such as clean coal and nuclear technology (a friend of mine has just pointed out that more people die down coal mines every year than have ever died in nuclear accidents but it's supposed to be 'unsafe')we have nonsense.

According to the government's Fuel Poverty Advisory Group, more households will enter fuel poverty unless measures are introduced to eradicate the problem by 2016.

The study found that fuel poverty levels are currently three times the rate seen five years ago.

Additionally, Derek Lickorish, the group's chairman, said that the impact of carbon emission reduction, rising unemployment and a volatile energy market meant that current measures "are simply inadequate".

And

The Fuel Poverty Advisory Group (FPAG) says about 4m households in England are already in fuel poverty, spending more than 10% of their income on energy.

And it has urged ministers to set out a detailed plan for meeting their own target of ending the problem by 2016.

Are you seeing any links here?

The government are warned about an increasing number of people spending more and more of their incomes on energy bills and their response is to sign up to a stupid energy policy which will be unreliable, hugely inefficient and expensive. What happens if there's no wind? We know from the very cold weather earlier this year that an anti cyclone brings freezing temperatures with no wind. High demand, no spinning bloody windmills.

Not only are the lights going to go off around the country, I think they've definitely gone off in the wee minds of politicians all over the world.

It's completely untrue...but we wrote it

Over at England Expects, the European Parliament are speaking out of their arse again.

Do they do anything else?

Hedging your bets II

Allow me to once again indulge by bringing up some of my pearls of wisdom written a few years ago about the EU's attitude to hedge funds:

Drifting my mind back across The Channel, I am reminded of yet another economic retard. Step forward Mr Jo Leinen MEP: socialist and German so we can probably guess he’s not well up there with the liberal market economy. Mr Leinen, who studied half an economics degree during the 1970s, when people were convinced that Keynesian demand management actually works, happens to think that people in Europe shouldn’t have anything to do with hedge funds, because they are an ‘alien concept in Europe.’ That’s not strictly true, actually, Mr Leinen, any more than the IS-LM curve is.

Assets under management of the hedge fund industry totalled $1.13 trillion at the end of 2005. This was up 13% on 2004 and almost 50% on three years ago. Between 2006 and 2008 assets are expected to grow by 15%. So for a new idea, it’s doing pretty well. About 2/3 of hedge funds are managed offshore in the Caymen Islands, British Virgin Islands or Bermuda. The biggest onshore collection is in the USA, with 34% of funds and 24% of assets. London is Europe’s leading centre for hedge fund management, with three quarters of European hedge fund investment, ₤300bn, managed within the UK.

It's great news that Borisis now trying to defend the City of London from the EU who don't want London to be a successful financial centre. It's nothing to do with their desire to protect consumers from something they don't understand and everything to do with bitterness and jealousy.

If the EU manage to fuck up financial markets just as they have done democracy and transparent accounting then businesses won't move to Germany they'll leave the EU altogether.

However, wouldn't it be nice if the rest of the Tory party agreed with what Boris said?

UKIP pointed out Tory MEPs voted for the new EU directive last year, while they were the only party that voted against it. UKIP MEP and former mayoral candidate Gerard Batten said: “It's great that Boris is supporting the City in this way but a shame the Tories didn't when they had the chance.

From the UKIP website:

In September the Conservative MEPs were whipped to support legislation written by the socialist former Prime Minister of Denmark, Poul Nyup Rasmussen which provided the base for these draconian laws. The Hedge Funds and Private Equity Report passed by a massive majority in Strasbourg was designed to punish the City rather than to improve its actions.

Talking to Mr Farage about it, its author Rasmussen infamously said, "We don't like your Anglo-Saxon capitalism".

So we're going to have to say something about it before the EU bankrupt this country more quickly than they originally planned.

She wrote a cheque out – and three grand more and that's my yearly income

I don't usually read the Guardian but the hacking story today was rather close to home and very interesting and so I have purchased a copy. Delving into the inner pages I stumbled across a story yet to come to my attention about a lady called Lisa Greenwood who was essentially sacked for having a less than worshipping view of Hazel Blears.

Mrs Greenwood, who worked at the Department for Children, Schools and Families, was rather miffed to see the Chipmunk on TV waving around a cheque which, in the eyes of many, was proof she had broken the rules for MPs expenses. After sending an e-mail via the excellent They Work For You website, she received information saying that she had been suspended. After a subsequent meeting, she was then told she was sacked.

She sent an e-mail from her personal e-mail compaining about an MP whose wages she contributes towards and who had by her own admission broken the rules and she gets sacked?

So often do we have to use them about this government that '1984 is a warning, not an instruction manual' and 'Big Brother state' just become meaningless.

"I just had to get it off my chest. I have not said anything awful – it is not that extreme and I wasn't saying she should be killed, I was just having a moan. Hazel Blears is the one I want to tell, she is the one working for us. They are not in this ivory tower somewhere."

She said her case had stirred up a debate about data protection. "A lot of people are now worried. We are human and now people are worried if they send something anonymously it will be flagged up. So we have to remain impartial as a civil servant, but why allow us to vote? It is ludicrous that we are not able to have an opinion. Hazel Blears has made a mistake and she has got her job still."

And she's exactly right. Blears is in a position of responsibility in this country and along with many MPs has proven that she could not be trusted.

The sort of people who make rules regarding taxation and who pass laws saying that people who commit crimes should go to prison then stick two fingers up to us the tax payer, us the voter and do as they wish.

But again, over the past few months the angry, frustrated articles on these issues do tend to blend together as we sit there in amazement at the state of our institutions and how on earth they got this bad.

But then what really are we going to do about it? People have forgotten that we were all clamouring for a General Election because in the mind of the public that was a million years ago.

So I guess it will all just go on and people like Lisa Greenwood and bloggers who risk our jobs to say what we think will just have to go on hoping that we're not the next ones to get fired for daring to have an opinion.

A wet dream of a front page?

I had to buy the Daily Mail today after spying their headline today:
'MURDERERS AND RAPISTS AT LARGE'

At first glance I wondered if yesterday had been a particularly slow news day and as such the editors at the Daily Mail had just decided to write their dream headline. After all, it's bascially what they've been telling us in a variety of forms for years but haven't been able to be so, well, damned obvious about it.

Then I noticed that the Daily Express also had a very unbiased and well balanced story running, and so my dream of the Mail's subheading being

'AND THEY'RE ALL ASYLUM SEEKERS'
floated away like a retarded child's helium balloon at a summer fete.

Another time, perhaps.

Questions to ask when going to Japan

Ah, all those handy questions one can fire off on the internet and get useful responses from strangers all over the world:

Im planning a trip to tokyo and while at my stay there I want to have sex with some japanese girls (and film a sex tape with them as kind of souvenir for myself).I also plan on visiting the strip clubs in tokyo and filming the girls there.Is it legal to film in strip clubs in tokyo?And any information on some hot spots where I can find some hot girls in tokyo.Thanks.

Well, Jason, as usual someone came up trumps for you.

don't come to Japan.
we don't need foreign guys like you.

Smoke, Mirrors and corridor meetings

Ah, the EU. Those caring chaps who like to do things for the disabled like ensure that bridges over rivers can't be built and extensions cost a fortune by insisting that all new buildings are fully accessible for disabled people. Because they care. They love them, more than they love their own mothers.

Except they don't, as this little story demonstrates:

The EU, which has the power to set import duties for all member states, intends to impose a 10 per cent import tax on the scooters, despite the fact that equipment for disabled people is exempt from tax.

Charities for the disabled say that the extra cost of buying the scooters will have an immediate impact on the number they can afford, meaning thousands of people each year could be denied a vital means of independence.

And of course because it's the EU the person from HMRC who will attend the meeting today and the next few days in Brussels as the British representative of the nomenclature committee will only be one vote out of 27.

These scooters are usually imported from America, so you can see why the EU hates them. The countries who import them will vote against the measures but the government have some other deal they will not make public which means that they can't negotiate on this one.

They can fund bank bail outs and subsidising the inefficient car industry which in recent years they have tried to run into the ground by charging sky high prices on petrol and blocking up the roads with the 'death phase' on traffic light phases but we - one of the largest trading nations in the world - don't have our own trade policy and can't stick two fingers up to this rule as the Americans sensibly did.

But then the Americans do a lot more for people like injured veterans than this country does.

So what can be done?

Well, it's in the hands of Euro politicians now.

Godfrey Bloom, the Ukip MEP for Yorkshire and the Humber, has written the the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, urging him to vote against the tax change and seek support from other member states.

He said: "Quite why HM Revenue and Customs feels the need to discriminate against disabled people and the charities who support them is beyond me."

May I suggest if you don't like this evil ruling that you write to your MP and MEP asking for them to do something. Not that there's anything MPs can do except ask Darling to grow a fucking backbone or call for a referendum on our membership but the MEPs do have a vague chance of amending this legislation.

It's health and safety gone mad

No, no; hear me out because it really is! And unlike ones like the Army not being able to call assault courses 'assault courses' as 'assault' implies violence, it's not just a silly cosmetic word change.

On one of Trixy's travels she stumbled across a lovely Italian run cafe which did breakfast rolls for almost nothing and are exceedingly yummy. Had an issue with soft eggs, though, as the first one I was given was cooked through.

'Hmmm' thought I, for I'm a woman of many words.

Eggs should be runny and squidge all over the bread in a really good egg roll, a matter which I took up with the establishment.

Turns out that the local council Health and Hygiene wonks have rules stating that cafes are not allowed to serve soft eggs as there's a risk people will get ill from them.

25 years this guy has been working in the food industry for, I think he knows how to keep and cook a fucking egg. It's also the reason why it's only Michelin starred restaurants who make their own mayonnaise. Health and fucking Safety. For eggs.

I know you can get ill from eggs but you can from anything and if I wish to go mad and take a real risk by eating eggs then I will, thanks. And I might have a lovely smoke afterwards.

Mmm mmmmmmm

It's an egg, not some rocket propelled grenade or IED laid hidden in a dish of sandwich filling, ready to burst forth fdrom between two slices of bread with the aim of killing and maiming as many as possible.

An egg.

From a chicken.

Cluck.

Fuck.

Leave us the cluck alone, southwark council and whichever other knobs tell cafes the same thing.

Go teach your gran to suck them or even better, let her teach you how to cook them.

I hereby pledge I will not eat my horse

From The Sun today:

HORSE owners must sign a pledge not to eat their pets — or face up to two years in jail, a barmy new EU rule says.
Brits will be saddled with the legislation even though it is aimed at continentals who munch two million of the creatures every year.

Critics blasted the law yesterday. UKIP leader Nigel Farage said: “I’d like to be a fly on the wall when the Queen and Princess Anne are asked to sign a form saying they’re not going to eat their horses.

This was debated in Strasbourg a couple of weeks ago when UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom made this speech:

Ill cat: the update

After a tense night, tears and me accusing my mother of trying to kill the cat, himself has been taken to the vet and the abcess has been lanced.

I'm very proud of poor little scabby fat face. It was on his throat so he stood up and defended himself and his territory in the fight. And at the vets he was as good as gold, realising that we were helping him.

So that's all good and now he's frolicking around the garden, back to chasing balls of wool and butterflies.

Staying with stinking puss filled cavities which need draining and cleansing, it's the secret ballot for speaker.

I'm going with Ann Widdecombe for this one as I do think she's one of the rare ones who puts principles before position and party. Just what we need at the moment after the last one, albeit I think he was made a scapegoat for the rotten institution.

How Beckett and Bercow are favourites I don't know. For a start we've had two Labour speakers so following it up with a former Labour Foreign Secretary and a man who is more left wing than Tony Blair is hardly a step in the right direction.

But how much difference will it actually make? It's cosmetic in its symbolism: you caught us out, we got rid of one of them, now we'll carry on as we were. For the publication of the 'expense files' the other day with their black lines to cover up scandal, were a demonstration in how it's one rule for them and another thousand for us, the pay masters.

Hiding addresses so we can't see the tax avoidance of the people who vote for tax increases in the name of protection when these are the people who regularly loose our data on trains and want us chipped and bar coded to fulfill their EU obligation stinks like the pool of bloodstained pus which showered from the neck of poor wee puss.
The police might investigate, the parties might wag fingers and a few might stand down after another year of being fed, sheltered and watered courtsey of the public tit but it doesn't change the fact that for years they thought it was okay and many still do.

They are ill in their attitude towards what they deserve. This culture of entitlement we criticise chavs and people who sue the council for tripping over the pavement is the same mentality currently governing the country.

If I had to commute to work I pay for it out of my salary. I knew that when I took the job, I like it or lump it.

If I have to live somewhere else during the week then that's something I knew when I found out about the job. Competition means that the salary should reflect certain features about the job, such as desirability and the number of people going for it. If they don't want to travel for work then I'm sure there are other people who would do the job for much less money.

How can we expect them to do something about the terminally unemployed Jeremy Kyle watchers when they're of the same mentality?

So whilst SFF may feel much better and be way on the road to recovery after a lancing and a dose of antibiotics, I feel that what has developed in our political system is more malignant and needs a course of radiotherapy to cure. Preferably in the form of a General Election with decent debate on policies.

Britblog roundup 227: the ill cat edition

It's roundup time again on a blog which I have been treating like a wife of a few years who has grown fat and boring.

I'm sorry, blog. I love you dearly but not having a computer at home anymore makes it difficult to pay you enough attention. And so my mind and eye wanders.

Roundup this week will not be very long and poetic as my cat is ill and I need to find him. The neighbours have now grown used to seeing me on all fours, peering under their cars and in bushes looking for the silly animal. Poor dears: no one deserves to turn the corner and see me on all fours with my arse sticking up in the air making stupid noises.

And so to the blogs. This week the number one story was that of Nightjack, the blogger exposed by The Times after Justice Eady ruled that bloggers have no right to anonymity. Shame on them say I and many, many other people. My particular favourite came from Jackart and Heresy Corner.

Permit me to quote the ever relevant Blackadder:

Beau Brummel in purple pants probe." "King talks to tree. Phew what a loony!"

God, the Times has really gone downhill recently hasn't it!

On the subject of the rozzers, Senator Stuart is going to take up climbing rather than me harassed by our friends with the talking broaches. Unmitigated England can't even get a chance to look at a nice building, so zealous are Market Harborough's 'Council Wehrmacht' and parked cars.

Sticking with that town, Liberal England has been doing some research into a training establishment for ladies to learn how to be domestic servants prior to emigration. Could do with starting that one up again, I suspect.

Backwatersman has a wonderful piece on these Colonel Blimp (Retd) types from Cheltenham. You know, the ones who talk to their wives across the table about only the weather and can hear a youth with an iPod from 200 yards away.

Moving away from the lighthearted, His Grace has a thing or two to say about advertising abortion services. Each to their own, I say, but I would like to point out to his holiness that these organisations aren't 'pro-abortion' but 'pro choice'. I don't think anyone goes out to have a deep and meaningful overnight relationship with the hope of an unwanted pregnancy and an unpleasant procedure. Just a point.

The F word have taken umbrage with Master Worstall's piece that there's no gender pay gap. Quite a squabble and no prizes for guessing which side of the argument this particular Doris is on.

Swiss Toni says you commuters can keep London, with your smelly underground trains.

Jackart has a point to make on immigrants and the Jeremy Kyle gang who choose not to work.

And spare a thought for Craig Murray who has discovered that he doesn't exist.

But not only my virtual existence is tenuous. I have been surprised to discover that it seems that I was mistaken about my physical existence too. Today The Guardian leads with the story that Tony Blair knew of a secret UK policy of receiving intelligence from torture...

The strange thing is, I could have sworn that I had been a British Ambassador and had been smeared in a campaign orchestrated by No 10, and then sacked, for opposing this torture policy. I thought I had blown the whistle on this policy five years ago and published a number of government documents which proved the existence of this policy. I even thought I had written a book about it which became a bestseller.

Staying with Tony Blair and his dodgy policies, I would love to have read Dave Cole's piece on why the Iraq war inquiry should have been conducted in secret, but the link currently doesn't work.

So instead readers will have to make do with my little rant on the subject, reaching the conclusion that of course it should be conducted in public. It's out money and they're our Armed Forces and you work for us, chaps.

I'll finish on the excellent post by the poor little Greek boy on how the protests in Iran can unite the left and right. It's my favourite post of the week so Mr Eugenides gets a special prize of his own choosing.

That's that, then. Next week we're off to visit Natalie and you can nominate lovely posts by writing to the usual address: britblog [at] gmail dot com

But don't do what Mrs Eleazar Cruz did and not include the link.

You have been approved for a lump sum payment of £750.000.00 GBP, in this Year Dunhill Products Promotion, Please
fill the form below and send it to our payment department with the contact given below.(dunhillreg.office1@gmail.com)

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Secret Inquiry: hands up who is surprised

Well, well well. Our Prime Minister has announced that the inquiry which needs to be held on why we went into an illegal war in Iraq is to be held in private.

An independent inquiry into the Iraq war will be held in private Prime Minister Gordon Brown has told MPs.

Opposition parties - and many Labour MPs - have been calling for the probe since shortly after the 2003 invasion.

The inquiry will cover July 2001 to July 2009 and be chaired by Sir John Chilcot, Mr Brown told MPs.

The reason for this is because they must have sat in Cabinet saying something along the lines of: 'now look, chaps. Hans Blix has said the Iraqis are cooperating and with more time they can complete a proper search for these alleged WMDs. Mr Negropontes has admitted in the Security Council that UNSCR 1441 'is not a loaded gun' and that we will need another resolution for our invasion to comply with the Charter of the United Nations but that's all a real fag, so we're going in anyway.'

All this nonsense currently being spouted by Ainsworth that it's being held in private so witnesses can 'speak candidly' is fucking arsejuice. Anyone can go on the UN website and read the minutes of the security council meetings, or have a look at the press cuttings and see that they didn't find any WMDs because there weren't any.

It's an insult to those people who died fighting in Iraq, to their families and those who served and risked their lives that they know for what reason they did it.

It's also a basic right that the tax payer know for what reason their money was spent on this war and who took the decision to lie to them.

However, basic is too much for this shower. They really are beyond the pale and expecting any level of decency from them is like expecting the French not to surrender.

sleepwalking towards the next election

So, after all that excitement it looks like we're back to where we were before, minus a few Labour MPs and less headlines about people you didn't like anyway.

How, after the worst possible national election for Brown since records began, or sliced bread was invented, is he still in power? After days of Cabinet ministers leaving to spend times in their beautifully redecorated second homes with Brown having to rely on Mandelson - Mandelson - to keep it all together, the conclusion of that meeting is to press on as if nothing happened?

The meeting yesterday resulted in David Miliband, the previous leadership contender apparently pushed out by the evil whisperings of that ugly git McBride, trying to lay down the law on this:

In his first intervention since the Cabinet reshuffle and the departure of 11 ministers that brought Mr Brown's Government close to collapse, Mr Miliband claimed that the leadership issue was now "settled."

He said: "The Parliamentary Labour Party has reached a settled view about the leadership. The Labour Party does not want a new leader, there is no vacancy, there is no challenger.

"The leading contender, Alan Johnson, is backing the Prime Minister to the hilt. So that is that."

Yes, the 'leading contender' comment does indeed highlight that there is someone else who could take the job, but what the fuck does everyone expect? Quite frankly, rather than jump up and down about the fact that almost everyone in the country has been debating who will take the number one job, the bigger story should be that no one is going to.

It looks like another year of Brown. Another year of his bumbling, of his irrational behaviour, of his travelling to the middle of nowhere to open a supermarket if he thinks it'll make him popular. Of ignoring the concept of 'doing the right thing' and instead 'doing the right thing for Brown short term'. Of a country freefalling into misery with no leadership, a government out of ideas and a cabinet filled with people whose only brush with politics should be loading the newspapers into their little sections at Tescos.

And there's a fucking tube strike. Surprise surbloodyprise, Crow and his bunch of pirates want more money at a time when there are fewer people catching the tube because there are fewer people with jobs. They already seem to me to be overpaid for sitting in a tunnel with their joystick, the only people in the entire public transport network guaranteed to get a seat.

Don't like it, get a new fucking job and let one of the thousands of people now unemployed who would like to work, would like to be useful to our economy, would like to actually do they job they were paid for take their seat whilst Crow and his fucktards prance around outside closed tube stations blaming everyone else for the fact they are idle bastards who should be beaten up with their own limbs.

Regular commuters of London Underground may, however, be surprised that there is a strike on today: a shit service with half the lines disrupted is normal, isn't it?

the happiest story of all

Mary Ellen Synon writes about the happiest story to come from the European Election results across every single of the 27 countries.

Somewhere in all the hoo-hah about the extraordinary showing by UKIP in the elections for the European parliament there may be getting lost the best and happiest story of the whole election: I mean the triumph of the new UKIP MEP for the south east, Marta Andreasen...
The smears and threats made against Andreasen could have broken any other person. But they didn't break her. That is why, when I saw the picture of UKIP leader Nigel Farage raising Andreasen's arm in victory, it was the happy ending that almost never comes in politics. She will go back to Brussels in triumph -- and as an honest voice for Britain.

It was obvious that Marta was an amazing asset to UKIP which was why so few people in the media covered it, despite the entire campaign being based around expenses. Hello? Anyone? The former chief accountant of the EU was standing for UKIP, she was fired by Kinnock for doing her job, the man whose hideous wife is Minister for Europe, and you ignore it?

She'll take her seat in the budgetary control committee and I hope the monsters in the Commission are shaking and shitting their pants.

And I hope the press take note of the fact that this is a woman who knows what she is talking about and can hold people to account on where our money is going.

But I doubt they will, because there's probably some MP putting a washer on expenses and in Westminster, that's all that seems to matter.

The new Europe Minister

I don't think Gordon Brown couldn't have found a more suitable person than Glenys Kinnock to be our Europe Minster.

She's fanatical about the EU, her voting record shows she doesn't care about the wishes of the electorate, she's lived for years at the expense of the tax payer, swilling around in the trough along with the rest of her ghastly family and I'm sure she'll continue to do so.

Yes, yes. For this hateful government which shits on democracy on high, she'll be perfect.

Poor Brenda, having to bestow a title on it, though. You'd bleach yourself afterwards.

It's a shame that she won't be in the European Parliament with Marta Andreasen who looks likely to take a seat in the South East. After the way her husband sacked her for doing her job, I would have loved that show down.

Jeez, but what society are we in when the Kinnocks are rewarded for their shocking, bullying thuggish and all round anti democratic behaviour.

I'll let you know if I get a letter from their tax payer funded lawyers. They like bullying with lawyers.

PMQs - that front bench

All in black with faces like thunder...reminds me of a front page back in 1992:

*tumbleweed*

She's gone.

Who is left?

bring on the clowns

The European Elections, although mainly remarkable for not really having a debate about the EU, have also been notable for bringing to our attention how little politicians actually know about the thing.

It's a pity that the few weeks where we should have been debating the EU: talking about how much control they have, what it costs, who your MEPs are and, of course, who the Commissioners are since it's always good to have an idea who controls the country, has just been ignored by the expenses scandal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad that MPs are being brought to book for feathering their nest with our cash. Sod two homes, I can't afford one and it's because I'm paying for them and their children to be Laura Ashley'd up to their eye balls.

It's just that I do wish in between all the stories we could take time out to discuss the elections being held. Hey, we could even have a compromise and debate how much MEPs cost and all those jollies they like to go on. It could be 'whoops-a-daisy' all over again!

At least when it comes to expenses MPs actually know what they are talking about because they really don't have a fucking clue when it comes to the EU.

Take Caroline Flint on Question Time last Thursday. She's Minister for Europe and the woman appears to be so dumb she can't tell the difference between a regulation and a directive. She keeps on pushing this 'only 9% of laws come from the EU' and I can't help but think it's a combination of malevolence and ignorance. No, sweetcheeks, it's at least 75%. The Government themselves have admitted that at least 50% of major laws and 75% of all it's laws come from the EU and yet glamourpuss Flint hadn't quite read that bit.

Perhaps it's all part of this strategy they have of telling us how absolutely vital our membership of the EU is, how we need it in this global world (yes, yes I know that we know it's protectionist) and all the amazing things it does whilst at the same time telling us it doesn't cost us very much and it has very little influence...

From the Lisbon Constitution:

"The Conference recalls that, in accordance with well settled case law of the Court of Justice of the European Union, the Treaties and the law adopted by the Union on the basis of the Treaties have primacy over the law of Member States, under the conditions laid down by the said case law".

Someone else who doesn't know his arse from his elbow when it comes to the EU is the great David Cameron. I'm not sure the Tories have actually drawn up their EU policy yet but they're trying to cover it up by calling for an election and bitching about UKIP.

Dave's pre recorded interview on Sky this morning was another classic. From the party that said they wanted to withdraw from the Common Fisheries Policy without realising it requires unanimity in the Council, comes the astonishing accusation from Cameron that UKIP voted for Spanish fishermen to have access to 60% of our stock!

This is based on a vote a couple of years ago which the Tories voted for which increased the access our fishermen had in the Shetland box to 40%. UKIP voted against it because they would rather we had 100% control of our own territorial waters but the Tories obviously don't think that way. Even so, to say that UKIP voted for Spanish access because they voted against this measure is highlighting that Dave appears not even to know that the Common Fisheries Policy which gives access to all and bloody sundry, was brought in under a Conservative Government.

It's important to have UKIP MEPs in Brussels - they haven't 'been doing nothing' for the past five years you massive foreheaded PR obsessed hollow man - because you need to vote against legislation which Labour, Tories and Lib Dems support and often write. Legislation like fortnightly bin collections and rules on waste which Conservative MEP Caroline Jackson wrote whilst she was in the pay of a company which stood to gain. Home Improvement Packs come from the EU, Post Office closures stem from Maastrict and post office legislation, the European Arrest Warrant which could see you shipped off to Romania because your name popped up and the police can't be bothered to investigate the crime.

Now, whilst the power for referendums on Lisbon and our future in the EU stem from Westminster, it's good to have as many people correcting the integrationalist voting patterns of the other parties just to keep head above water.

Because let's face it, they've been talking about 'reform' for the past few decades and we're further away from governing ourselves than we ever have been.

Kevin Maguire and the tales of hypocrisy

There can hardly be a more hypocritical journalist than the Mirror's Kevin Maguire. One only needs to look at the part he played in the 'Red Rag' affair to hold the opinion that this is a man who might not be in journalism to ensure the truth will out.

Today is no exception, with another nonsense piece of hackary as the media try to attack UKIP to save themselves the bother of working out what happens in the European Union:

The anti-Brussels party's ridden the Euro gravy train like few others.

Leader Nigel Farage cheerfully admits "pushing £2m" in expenses since 1999. MEP Ashley Mote was expelled from the party and jailed for fiddling benefits.

No, Farage kicked Ashley Mote out as soon as he found out, just as he risked the wrath of former party leader Roger Knapman for insisting that action be taken against Tom Wise as soon as details of what he'd done emerged.

He hasn't 'ridden the gravy train', he's a man who has given 10 years of his life and the chance to watch his children grow up to tell people across the country about the EU: a job which is harder work than it should be because the media can't be bothered to write about it. It's the ultimate elephant in the room.

Whispers reach my tiny ears that all papers are trying to do a hatchet job on UKIP for no other reason than they just don't like them. They've ensured that there hasn't been a proper debate about the EU, they've pandered to Cameron's complete inability to come up with a policy on the EU, they haven't taken Labour or the Lib Dems to task over their position on the Lisbon Constitution.

How unsurprising that a hack who gets to drive around in a chauffeur driven Mercedes attacks someone who drives around in a K reg battered old volvo for milking expenses. It's the same car which has taken him around the country speaking in venues as diverse as village halls and sixth form colleges to BBC Question Time.

The rule with MEPs is quite simple: if you work hard, you don't make money. If you work as hard as Farage, it costs you money.

But that's probably a little to hard for our Kev to grasp:

Shambolic Cameron

Notice how quick the newspapers and bloggers were to pick up McShane's quick quip re Nigel Farage's expenses but there was nothing about how shambolic Cameron was with Andrew Marr?

He truly highlighted how dire the Tory policy is on the EU and how much they really want to keep quiet about it, which is why today he's been blathering on about 'reform' and 'bringing politics closer to the people' without of course mentioning the EU and how it drives one hundred coach and horses between the legislative and the voters. Even in the middle of the EU elections he can't bring himself to talk about the EU.

For those of you who missed it, enjoy:


A peck on the cheek for anyone who can tell me what his policy actually is...

nutter alert

They're at it again. Clearly concerned that their years of mud flinging, defamation and reporting innocent people to OLAF then calling up journalists saying that these MEPs are under investigation hasn't done the BNP et al much good, they're back on the coup path.

It's not really a war when it's only a handful of people, even if they are the last people you'd want to be stuck in a lift with.

Still, here they go again, calling up journalists at the News of the World with their predictable twaddle.

If they were so sure about the other parties they must support why don't they promote their policies?

If they were so sure of abuse and fraud why do they have to keep making false accusations to the police and OLAF?

Grow the fuck up, guys. Please.

Are you so jealous and bitter you'd rather lies made it into the paper?

Probably.

Never one to be outdone

So we've had weeks of revelations that MPs have been using our money to feather their own nests and most of them don't see anything wrong with it. And the others who don't think there's anything wrong with what they've been doing and have resigned still did it in the first place and probably would be if they hadn't been caught.

But this story in the Telegraph really takes it to new levels.

Eighteen "phantom" MEPs will be elected on full pay and perks next month despite not being able to start work for up to two years due to Ireland's rejection of the Lisbon Treaty...

The deal will mean they can draw full salaries and allowances at an annual cost of over £6 million without any legislative duties to carry out.

Let's just set aside, for the moment, the fact that we will be having an additional 18 MEPs elected who won't be doing any fucking work but will be living off the tax payer: they are so determined and confident that they can get this treaty through that they're even altering the legal system to accommodate it.

The current treaties don't allow for these additional MEPs, the Lisbon Treaty has not been ratified and is not in force because Ireland said no and so there shouldn't be these additional MEPs.

Why oh why do they hate democracy so much and despise the will of the people that they bulldoze through any opinions except their own? You can imagine them reading GCSE history books about the Nazis and making notes. Not for the exams, to make guidance notes.


Can we have photos of all those who are elected as phantom MEPs and monitor exactly what they do and exactly what they spend? For if they were any decent kind of people they'd not take the salary, not take the position and not waste the money.

Fucking duck islands look pretty lame in comparison to an entirely made up job and staff.

It's a truth universally acknowledged...

The swivel-eyed loons and assorted nutters of hate have been on full rant about this supposed 'Nigel Farage claiming £2 million in expenses' without seeking to qualify it.

There are two reasons for this, I suppose.

1) They don't understand (this itself can be expanded)
2) They don't care because they just want to push their negative messages

Nigel Farage made that statement at a debate at the Foreign Press Association in order to open up the debate again about MEP expenses and how much Brussels costs this country. The £2 million figure being thrown around as an example of 'snouts in the trough' is a combination of about 7 other people's salaries over the last 10 years, not just his, along with travel and office expenses.

Yes, MEPs cost the tax payer a huge amount of money because on top of their salary (the same as a British MEP) they get paid for traveling to Brussels and Strasbourg and staying over night. This is going to cost more than travelling around Britain although the system still allows for people to claim an amount far more than their ticket.

For MEPs who change their ticket because they make speeches, visit schools or need to actually change their plans because they don't just sit around eating, this also means that they can end up worse off.

It's a truth which should be universally acknowledged that the harder an MEP works, the worse off he will be.

I don't know of many MEPs who don't live in their constituency apart from Richard Corbett who I was told has a house in Antwerp. They get given the amount of a business class fare, an allowance for signing in and money to run their constituency office and pay their staff. That goes through an agent - or it's supposed to but events of last year proved that that wasn't always the case.

Also what the loons either don't realise or don't care to include in their nonsense is that, for example, the constituency of an MEP for the South East of England is bigger than most countries in the EU. It is represented by 10 MEPs and is tremendously difficult to get around. I don't know how they came up with it but most people would realise that Oxfordshire and Kent aren't very similar or particularly close.

No doubt there's some idea that the more detached people are from their MEPs then the more the EU can just push ahead, but for someone like Farage and decent MEPs like Hannan who make the effort to keep their constituents informed it's a mammoth task.

Not that I expect facts to get in the way of an ill informed, inaccurate rant by Libertas and their ilk. In my eyes they are bringers of doom and misery who haven't realised that there is no niche in the UK political spectrum for their views as they are covered by the Tory party. By this I mean saying no to Lisbon but staying inside the EU and not being independent.

They also don't appear to understand economics but I am happy to give lessons in international trade for people who think that we need to be part of a political union to trade with countries.

I find it deeply concerning that these people want to stand for a parliament but I suppose they're no different from the MPs in Westminster who think that we need to be part of the EU.

For my part, I suppose I must just have more faith in people to think that we should be an independent country with a proper democracy.

elevator music

I'm madly busy and to be honest a little bored with MPs expenses.

In the mean time, here's something my mother sent me which raised a smile.

I will be back shortly when I will have time to get onto this blog all the bile and vitriol I have been storing up over the past few weeks.

I'll leave you with a piece of advice: If you're a journalist calling up a politician it's best to know something about them else you'll piss them off and look like a dick head.

The Hair Cut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door..

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Too little, too late

The scandal of MP expenses just seems to go on and on and the damage appears to be to the institutions rather than any one political party.

Leaders are now taking what they'd like us to consider to be 'tough action' but it's hardly the case.

Cameron and the Tories want a pat on the head for making someone resign a few days before they were probably going to be outed in some newspaper.

The chief whip of the Labour Party also wants us to believe that he only suspended an MP from the Parliamentary Labour Party when the story broke because it wouldn't have been fair to do otherwise. No, Nick Brown. I think the reason that, despite you knowing two weeks ago that one of your MPs had quite possibly been committing fraudulent acts, you waited until you had no choice. After all, what party already doused in shit from months of scandal would want to highlight that one of their own was maybe not just guilty of abusing the glutenous expenses system but possibly the law?

In any case, it's win win for the media. Normally at the first whiff of a scandal there is some kind of tabloid campaign. A missing kid, a badly behaved celebrity and the Sundays in particular become flooded with 'sign our campaign' coupons.

But not this time.

Why bite the hand that feeds them? A torrent of stories on a similar theme and a population resenting the political classes whilst scanning the pages each day for the latest name which will appear on news channels for that day.

I don't think it's good enough to pay the money back. It's an admission of guilt and if they're making laws then they should be fired for not sticking to them.

I also don't want a load of my money spent on some whitewash of an investigation. It's bad enough that for years MPs have been troughing whilst I see more and more of my money taken away from me to be spent on their moats, plugs and harmful policies.

It's just a way for MPs and the government in particular to portray a message that they are trying to do something. 'Enough is enough!' they shout.

But enough should have been enough years ago. They should have realised it when they could furnish their second homes, with mortgage interest payments paid for by us, with allowances from people who might not have been able to buy a starter home.

It's too little, too late and only done because they've been caught.

Still, just think about this. You can't even trace what allowances MEPs get because the fees office don't dare let anyone know how much has been paid.

A complete shower

Nigel Farage's final speech in this parliamentary term, with a run down of the last five years.

Which have mainly seen the federalists attack him for wanting referendums because they, in their own words, must not bow to populism.

No, the voice of the people is to be feared in the EU: they like totalitarianism, no opposition and bullying and threatening and fining of anyone who thinks differently to them.



Just remember that on June 4th

Europerks plus

Via the excellent Berlaymonster, this wonderful story right slap bang in the EU election campaign:

14 EU fonctionnaires investigated for suspected injury benefit fraud have been awarded an extra 3000 euros each from the taxpayer, after it transpired the EU's fraud watchdog failed to tell the accident-prone civil servants that they were to face criminal proceedings in Italy.

The ruling is the culmination of investigations dating back to 2002 into suspected widespread benefit plundering at the EU's Joint Research Centre, based out of the Italian town of Ispra on the shore of Lake Maggiore.

In an initial 2002 audit, 230 JRC eurocrats - one fifth of the total headcount there - were found to be claiming a permanent partial invalidity.

5.7 million euros were disbursed to the accident-prone staff between 1996 and 2002.
On average this worked out at around 25 000 euros each.

Go read the rest.

On the subject of the EU and fraud, South East candidate for the UK Independence Party, Marta Andreasen, will be appearing on Question Time on the 21st May. You might remember her, she used to be the chief accountant of the EU who was fired by Neil Kinnock et al for doing her job. Former chief accountant and now she's standing for UKIP.

All of you who want to send a message, who want to stop fraud, or try to, in the EU, who want someone strong to take on the bureaucrats and commissioners couldn't do better than vote for Marta. They don't want her to be there holding them to account, telling it how it is and so it's your duty to ensure that it happens.

Even if you're not that political you must see how that would annoy them.

ID cards: the plot thickens

Possibly not so much the plot thickening...

Pharmacies and post offices could act as enrolment centres for the Government's identity card scheme, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said today.

Anyone who wants an ID card or biometric passport will go to their local post office or pharmacy to have their fingerprints read and stored along with a face scan.

The card will cost £30 and the shops could charge another £30 to collect the data, which will be stored on a Government database.

I would suggest that those people wanting to be tagged, monitored and essentially property of the state couldn't do better than go to a pharmacy. Possibly after they've got the slip of paper from their GP first.

But doesn't it show the ingrained authoritarianism of this bunch: the budget showed what a mess this country was in, there are genuine uses for public money like, I don't know, Armed Forces Housing, and they push ahead with this unwanted, unnecessary and downright dangerous ID cards scheme.

This bunch shouldn't be trusted with an emery board, let along records of the population's finger prints.

another Downfall

Via IndHome another Downfall spoof:

I can see the Tories jumping up and down over that. It's okay to do it to the others, I should imagine, but not to them as they're really nice

Telegraph gear up their anti-UKIP campaign

It's hard to tell these days which party the Telegraph supports: Tories or Labour. A glance at private eye points thirsty and his crew firmly in the socialist pit but it's still strewn with people who think the Tory party are the way forward. One must congratulate them on noticing any conceivable difference for I certainly can't.

At least they're pretty determined on one point: UKIP bashing.

This piece for example, based on fuck all but tittle tattle from bitter incompetent has-beens, is a prime example.

What they've done is ignore the polling results which show UKIP on double where they were this time in 2004, ignore the meteoric rise throughout the campaign when the anti debate crew in Westminster didn't get their way for a few weeks, and just decided to write what they think will encourage their readers to either vote Tory or Labour.

It's where the old and the new at the ToryLabourgraph can actually meet: Labour are so shit and have fucked up so much that UKIP could maximise on those Labour voters embarrassed by their previous party of choice particularly on the cringe making subject of the referendum. Tories always lose votes to UKIP because many Tories don't like the EU whereas, bizarrely, their leadership do: Look at the cult status of Dan Hannan if you don't believe me.

Of course, this year it's even more convoluted because no one is exactly sure what the Tories are going for this time round. Apart from their dye in the wool voters and people who mistakenly think they're going to 'bring power back from Brussels'.

I hope they both lose voter because they want this country to be ruled by pen pushers rather than politicians and, whatever the many faults of politicians, at least we vote for the bastards and that means we can get rid of them too.

the battle bus rolls into town

The decidedly biased BBC has been rather anti UKIP as the campaign trail for the European Elections starts.

However, that's hardly surprising given the EU fanatic Simon Hicks of the LSE, doing their election analysis.

It's a wonderful opportunity for the blustering buffoon to make up for his embarrassment in 2004 when he was adament that the party which would be his bete noire - anyone listening to his language on the European Parliament not being a talking shop and 'environmental protection can guess - would not make any inroads.

He was proved wrong in massive style and perhaps he'll try use his undeserved influence to try to be correct 5 years later.

Alas, I doubt it will mean there will be any economic sense from Labour and Lib Dems. Denis MacShane talking nonsense about national sovereignty being against British business is a prime example.

If we're allowed to have a proper debate it will be very interesting, particularly watching the Tories trying to establish any kind of coherent position. Anyone watching the politics show today would have seen the hilarious juxtaposition of Dan Hannan being personable, sensible and likeable followed by MEP leader Timothy Kirkhope who, in one fell swoop, swept away any notion that Tory EU policy was interesting, hard hitting and in line with the views of the grass roots.

And, as Nigel Farage said, if UKIP beat Labour that would really damage Gordon Brown. And wouldn't that be fun...