Thursday, February 18, 2010

Eurozone countries take supportive stance against Greece

Financial ministers have sent a strong message of support to Greece in the wake of its financial crisis.

Eurozone ministers have taken a brotherly, collective stand against the beleaguered country by declaring that it needs to sort out its problems because it's making the rest of them look bad.

The country, which has a public deficit t of 12.7% of GDP, was initially expecting support from other countries which also sacrificed their monetary independence when joining the single currency.

But statements from politicians indicate that the message appears to be one of blame and disappointment.

"The Greeks were expecting support from other eurozone countries" said a senior insider. "But instead they feel like a Muslim girl who has been attacked by a man. They've brought shame on the single currency and it's only the outward perception which matters, not the fundamental flaws in the original plan."

Euro Politicians had been following strict Commission guidelines when they made statements announcing support which were completely devoid of any fact or meaning. Instead of help and assistance, it's been made clear to Greece that they need to sort out their mess and stop bringing shame on the rest of the family.

"We all know that the reason Greece are in such trouble is because they've given up the ability to devalue which is the best way to solve their problems" said a treasury insider.

"But if they admit that then they'd be admitting that the single currency is fundamentally flawed and nothing but a vanity project.

Feta and Olives: the Greeks will try to restore faith in their financial system through a massive export programme and legislation to ban plate smashing

"And that would never do because these clever chaps with shiny suits need the world to know that what they did was right and good."

Eurocrats have been pouring scorn on protestors in Greece who are unhappy at the severity measures being put in place by a desperate government.

"It is so selfish of these people to want jobs and pensions" said a German spokesman. "Don't they understand that their country isn't allowed to undertake normal measures to get themselves out of zis debt because there are more important countries, like France and Germany, to take into consideration?

"Like zee Royal Bank of Scotland, this Gross Projekt which we have signed up to is too big to fail and so is must be zee little people who get fucked so the politicans don't have to eat the 'umble torte."

A French Treasury official said "Eef they didn't want to be in zis club wiv all zee risks that small countries in parteecular take zen zey shouldn't have let their government said 'oui' to eet.

"I know that our government didn't leesten to our people when they said 'NON' to ze constitution but zat is different."


Jackart said...

"The country, which has debts of 12.7% of GDP"

No. The country has a DEFICIT of 12.7% of GDP. if it had debts of 12.7% of GDP, it would be fine. You're an order of magnitude out, move the decimal place one digit to the right.

Trixy said...

I meant to change that when I wrote it, thinking of the old national debts of 60% plus or whatever the rules are, but then I decided to have a little snooze instead,

Well, I am ill: these things are allowed.