And so it begins:
13 year old dad Alfie Patten has joined 'Fathers for Justice'. He doesn't understand the politics of it but he thinks the spiderman costume is fuckin' brilliant.
Well, at least we can all joke about this absolute condemnation of modern Britain. Please for one minute don't mistake me for a prude. I've a short skirt and fish nets in my closet the same as any Doris or gay. But what kind of mother lets her teenage, underage daughter have her teenage boyfriends sleep over?
Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.
“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.
“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”
No, you won't. You are a child yourself, you know nothing of the world, of responsibility, of budgeting, of time management, you don't have qualifications to get a job and fund this child of yours: in short, you will be fucking awful parents. You might love your daughter but it takes more than that.
As a gesture of kindness I will say that they aren't entirely to blame for as young children we learn our behaviour from those around us. And what a family these two children come from.
I wasn't surprised to learn that they didn't come from the sleepy suburbs, with one or both parents working and still together. No, they come from the benefit estate.
Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.
When you say 'get through' you're not being entirely honest now, are you Mrs Steadman. Because you, your unemployed husband and your six children live in a house and survive off the money snatched from the hands of those of us who go to work.
I could have had a child by now if I'd wanted, but even if I had I wouldn't have because I can't afford it and I fail to see how it should be funded by someone else who has no choice in the matter.
Alfie's father now plans to give him the 'bird and the bees' talk. 'Better late than never' some might say, but this is a man who has fathered nine children and not all by the same mother. It could be said he knows as much about contraception as I do about over the counter options. I've heard of them but that's about it so I'm really not the right person to teach.
Gordon Brown refused to comment on the specific of the case. David Cameron choked over his cornflakes or something and yet what will they actually do? Will any of them have the balls to say 'enough is enough, we are not paying people to farm babies anymore.'?
I doubt it and so children like Maisie will grow up in a culture of entitlement, thinking that scrounging from the state is acceptable and that responsibility is something other people have to deal with.
Someone told me that it was impossible to slash benefits because 'what about all the people on them?'
I grant you, chavvy clothes shops might suffer but given 'three months to get a job because we're cutting your money' and I bet there are a few more people out there offering to take those unattractive jobs when the government goody van stops delivering.
When kids are having kids and the grandparents are in their early 40s we're regressed back to the Dark Ages and it's time for the government to take drastic action. These kids may have been scared of what their parents would say, but not that much. Because their parents clearly have an attitude which stinks and does not belong in a decent society. They think it's okay to have kids at their age and not worry about how they are going to pay for them. And then their neighbours will see, their friends at school will see: They'll see Chantelle getting a council house and not having to go to work and think 'I can do that too'. To misquote Kate's father from Blackadder II
Why go all the way to London when you can earn a fortune here on your back?
Come on, Westminster. We don't elect you to sit there with your thumbs up your arses: bickering about sex education doesn't work when the real issue is that we are paying people to live the lazy life.
The Nazis handed out medals to pure Aryan families who had lots of children. This government ensure they never have to work again nor worry about a roof over their heads.