Tuesday, February 05, 2008

And the Lord did say....

come now, Jesus, into the Wilderness and resist such temptations which will erode your mind and corrupt your body. For 40 days must you wander around in a tent-like item of clothing and sandals you have borrowed off a passing Liberal Democrat and think about me and good things. But not bad things.

Oh, but do feel free to pack thee a king sized mars bar and some jaffa cakes.

But Jesus, what ever you do, you must not leave the TV on standby. Nor must ye go into the wilderness without going round the house with a ribbon to check for draughts and buying those large cuddly snake things to go under the door.

And those who are true believers will follow your fine example and will remove a lightbulb from a promient place in the house, like the crazy, so they can Carbon Fast with you. And only then shall they be allowed to enter the Kingdom of Heaven without paying the Congestion Charge.

What next?


dizzy said...

But.. I like breathing! Surely if I stop breathing I for Lent I will be attempting to commit suicide which is itself a sin?

Vindico said...

I've always said the best way for Greenies to save the planet is to stop breathing and re-producing. The carbon savings would be immense, and the quality of life for the rest of us would go up dramatically.

Mark Wadsworth said...

I said as much at Tim W's. Christianity is very adept at nicking ideas from other religions (like Xmas and so on) so they have now cunningly pinched some ideas from the Global Warming Religion.

Clunking Fist said...

Actually, there was that environ-mentalist who had herself sterilised last year. One of yous blogged about it, I think.

PS Also God did say unto Jesus, should ye fell cold, I shall strike you down if you turn on the GCH. Instead, take your axeth and cutith the small sapling and burn it in your fireplace, and verily, you shall be praised by my sister Gaia. Fuck knows why: you'll have killed one of her spawn and converted it into a greenhouse gas, but hey-ho, there be many contradictions in religion, get over it, as some might say! Toodle-pip!