Long arm of the law

A little bird has just sent me a story saying that a court has been told that a police man 'played with himself' in front of a suspect. Nice.

A policeman masturbated in the back seat of a squad car in front of a
woman, a jury heard today. Police Constable Richard Bowen, 31, based at Lampeter Police Station, west Wales, had been sent to London in April last year with the task of bringing back the woman to Wales.

A policewoman drove the unmarked Ford Escort back on the 240-mile journey with Bowen sitting in the rear seat with the 25-year-old woman, Swansea Crown Court heard today.
Elwen Evans QC, prosecuting, alleged that along the way Bowen wrote a series of increasingly sexually explicit notes to the woman.

She said among them were the messages "You are sexy. You have got an amazing smile and lush tits", and also "I am hard". She said that Bowen secretly wrote down the messages and propositioned the woman in writing so that the policewoman who was driving would not suspect.

After the final message "he slipped down into his seat, opened his zip and started masturbating. "He then took out a white handkerchief and ejaculated into it."

Classy.

It gets better...

A white cotton handkerchief was discovered among his clothes and was found to be soaked in sperm. But before it was discovered Bowen had spoken to his inspector at the station to explain the state of the handkerchief.

He said: "Inspector, I think you need to know that I knocked one out before I came to work."

Miss Evans said: "I think that it is clear that what he meant by that was masturbating to ejaculation."

The suspect seemed to have raised more than a smile!

But, as my friend points out to me, at least he didn't cover her in custard.