Speaking as a vegetarian

What the bloody buggery hell is Lord Stern on about with his 'give up meat to save the planet'?

People will need to turn vegetarian if the world is to conquer climate change, according to a leading authority on global warming.

In an interview with The Times, Lord Stern of Brentford said: “Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on the world’s resources. A vegetarian diet is better.”

Lord Stern: repulsive little hypocrite who wants to see you live in a cave

Actually, a vegetarian diet is not better and I say that as a vegetarian. You don't get as varied a diet and it takes much more of an effort to ensure that you get the nutrients you require, rather than just eating cheese on toast in your jims jams whilst watching Strictly Come Dancing.

I would imagine that if the bastard EU hadn't imposed so many laws which resulted in the closure of local abatoires then animals wouldn't be transported so far but that's not what this loon is getting at. He appears to hate animals so much that he wants to see them wiped from the face of the planet.

He predicted that people’s attitudes would evolve until meat eating became unacceptable. “I think it’s important that people think about what they are doing and that includes what they are eating,” he said. “I am 61 now and attitudes towards drinking and driving have changed radically since I was a student. People change their notion of what is responsible. They will increasingly ask about the carbon content of their food.”

Fuck Off Fuck Off Fuck Off.
FUCK. OFF.
Carbon Content? The only way I'm interested in knowing about the carbon content of my food is to find out if my father has once again dropped my veggie sausage in the bloody barbeque.

Lord Stern, who said that he was not a strict vegetarian himself, was speaking on the eve of an all-parliamentary debate on climate change. His remarks provoked anger from the meat industry.

Oh there's a surprise: someone in politics who is a complete fucking hypocrite.

There are bloggers much more dedicated than I to providing the details of just how Lord Stern has been earning his various honours. For me, it's just the madness that anyone with a position of responsibility can be quite such a cunt.

He's also forgotten, of course, that it's not just not meat which comes from cows. If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well and so Lord Stern really needs to lead by example and become a vegan.

Go on, then. You horrid little man!

Miliband hedging on a Tory government?

Yesterday David Miliband (who, to be frank, I've fallen a little out love with) ruled out becoming the EU foreign minister if David Cameron doesn't support Vaclav Klaus so he feels obliged to sign the Lisbon Constitutional Treaty.

David Miliband has ruled himself out of taking a senior role within the EU, while endorsing Tony Blair for the new post of European president.

There have been suggestions the foreign secretary may become the new EU high representative for foreign affairs, to be created under the Lisbon Treaty.

But Mr Miliband told the BBC he was not "available" to be a candidate.

However at a speech at the International Institute for Strategic Studies he spent his time talking about how absolutely vital it was that we become a satellite state of a federal Europe run by grey suited twonks in Brussels.

"It is very strongly in the British national interest for the European Union to develop a strong foreign policy," he said.

"To be frightened of European foreign policy is blinkered, fatalistic and wrong. Britain should embrace it, shape it and lead European foreign policy."

Well, quite. I mean, look how useful our EU countries are when it comes to the alliance of nations fighting in Afghanistan. The Belgians, well. Sometimes they stick their head out the door of their compound and of course they can't lend us any helicopters because they don't have the equipment or the training. Why's that? I hear you ask? Because the EU have given them jobs to specialise in.

They've recently ruled out sending extra troops to assist with the conflict even though that's what's needed to lessen the opportunities where Terry Taliban can creep out and lay IEDs.

European defence ministers expressed reluctance yesterday (28 September) to send more troops to the NATO-led mission in Afghanistan, anticipating their response to a possible US call for reinforcements.

Rather than send reinforcements, several EU states want to focus resources and efforts on training the Afghan military and police, defence ministers meeting for informal talks on the west coast of Sweden said.

Like EUPol are doing: sitting in their air conditioned offices in Kabul whilst the Afghan police take bribes not to search lorries? I'm not making that up - a journalist stood for hours on a check point watching it happen.

There is one point Miliband made which I do entirely agree with:

"The truth is that there is a deception here at the heart of policy - a deception of the country that you can hate Europe as it exists today and remain central to European policy making," he said.

Quite right. It's in or out.

Of course Mr Miliband is so terrified of what the public think that he and his vile cronies vote against giving us the opportunity to decide our own future.

They appear to think that this country is theirs to give away.

It's not. And I hope that we can remind them of that at the next election.

I suspect that given his gushing praise of the position which he has been linked with perhaps his refusal to be a candidate isn't so strong and he himself knows that the Labour Party will be in opposition for a few years.

Quotation of the nanosecond

Goes to my friend Mark on The Other One Eyed Loon's performance on Question Time last night:

Watching Griffin was like watching Frank Spencer - he embarrassed himself so comprehensively that there were times when I could barely bear to watch.

If this is the answer...

I hope the people that came to my blog through the search terms 'Is my boyfriend likely to cheat on me when he goes to Lisbon' and 'Is there anything better than a left handed gay man' managed to find the answers.

If it helps:

1) Men do have a habit of cheating. It's because they're genetically programmed to try to stick it anywhere warm and wet. I'm not sure Lisbon adds anything to that mix save it being quite windy.

2) A left handed straight man?

Sexual favours

Now, I guess it depends how good you are at them, but I think the girl got herself a good deal:

Yes - it's true. I gave a blowjob in exchange for a handbag. I wondered at the time of negotiations (during which my husband laughed in an exasperated and unbelieving manner...) if it makes me some kind of mild prostitute.

Er...no. I think you'll find that you've stumbled upon a win win situation.

Give us EU Emperor Blair

It's the October session of Strasbourg this week, as I'm sure you're all aware from the masses of press coverage on it. Apart from the first ever Question Time in the chamber there was also a debate on what's usually called something along the lines of 'The Future of Europe'. Since the Irish managed to pick the correct answer on the Lisbon Constitutional Treaty the second time they were asked the pressure on President Klaus to sign the Treaty was on.

President Klaus doesn't want to sign it, of course, but he's under such immense pressure. David Cameron could easily lift that burden off his shoulders and be a pillar of democracy in the European Union by promising to hold a referendum regardless of whether it is ratified.

But of course he won't: a ridiculous stand when you consider that the chances of it not being ratified by the time the UK holds a General Election are greatly increased by him taking this position.

A position of defiance from the Tories allows Klaus to continue being strong and stand up for Czech national interests in the knowledge that the EU federalists will have more than one target. And one of the targets will be the future Prime Minister of the UK and the man with the wallet.

A referendum in the UK would produce a NO vote which is exactly why we've been denied the opportunity to have our say since the 1970s. Where would our ragged old politicians go to if we weren't part of the EU? Who would do the work for our MPs and stop them picking out curtain fabrics and soft furnishings for their tax payer funded homes if they had to actually bloody do some?

David Cameron and the Tories have the opportunity to do something brave and something right and an opportunity to show that they value democracy more than the gravy train.

Which is why, I suspect, they'll whimper and flounder and continue with this facile policy of 'we don't fucking know what we're doing on Lisbon'.

The Big Chill

Enjoy!

The Electoral Commission: let's hinder democracy

So it's been decided that the Electoral Commission were right to demand £350,000 off UKIP for an admin error:

Mr Bown had been on the electoral register in Thanet, Kent, but was removed by mistake without his knowledge in December 2004.

He did not find out until December 2005 and he was reinstated the following February.

Ukip, which has one MP and 10 MEPs (sic), admitted breaking the law, but said it was due to a clerical error and that to order forfeiture of the entire sum would be disproportionate.

In August 2007, City of Westminster Magistrates' Court held that although Ukip had not taken ''all reasonable steps'' to establish that Mr Bown was on the roll, the error was accidental.

It ruled that Ukip should forfeit only £18,481 of the total but the Commission brought a judicial review of the decision and the High Court ordered a fresh hearing.

Ordered a judicial review at the expense of the tax payer, of course.

The Chairman of the Electoral Commission at the time this decision was taken was Sam Younger, whose father was a minister under Attlee and who received an honour at the beginning of 2009.

It's most convenient for the government that the party beat them into third place in the European Elections should be so disproportionately attacked as the country prepares for a General Election.

UKIP Leader Nigel Farage said: "Something extraordinary is going on here. It is acceptable under the rules for Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian businessman, to give millions of pounds to the Labour Party and for the Liberal Democrats to be allowed to keep £2.4 million from an impermissible donor who has since received a lengthy prison sentence, yet the Electoral Commission goes on kicking the smallest boy in the playground!"

And this is democracy? When the establishment can bankrupt political parties because they're losing the political arguments?

It makes me sick to my insides that we're stuck with these bastards, these people who take our money without asking and squander it on porn films and rent boys.

How many second homes of MPs is Alan Bown going to be paying the decoration bill for? How many items of furniture, how many fucking duck houses?

Because the money doesn't go back to Mr Bown, it goes to the stinking, thieving government: the same government who stole your pension, who denied you a referendum on the Constitutional Treaty, who moan and whinge about having to pay the tax that they try to bankrupt you with every month. The same people who fly out to Afghan to get PR shots with the same troops whose houses they can't be bothered to maintain or equip and who try to tax everything vaguely enjoyable whilst demanding you subsidise their enjoyment of it.

It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?

Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.

In the name of God, go!

Poll results - a failure for feminism

Slightly delayed, the results of my poll following a suspicious holiday taken by Mr E which I was not invited to.

Well, dear readers, it seems that you chose the last line in the quotation to heart when you voted:

21% said I should string the cad up for making me worry, let alone playing away
21% said I should give him a chance to explain and then melt into his arms
forgivingly and enjoy his velvety caresses.
16% recommended I serve him
rabbit for dinner and put Fatal Attraction on the TV
40% told me to knock
the bitch out, blaming her sartorial elegance and pungent smell wafting from the
hem line for his wandering, er, person.

It strikes me as a bit harsh that someone who was single gets the blame from the majority of people but I think that's a pretty fair representation of how people do react to these things.

When my ex boyfriend cheated on me I initially blamed the girl first for not leaving well alone someone who was living with his partner. But really, she was single and he wasn't and he was the one who should have tried to keep it in his trousers.

Now I know that a man's body is just a life support system for his cock but why do we persist in letting them get away with behaving badly and instead choose to pile the blame on the woman in any cheating situation? Do we just expect it of men and thus rely on women, supposedly the kinder, gentler sex, to behave themselves?

Because I fear that's also a recipe for disaster, as any town centre on a Friday night will illustrate.

Britblog Roundup - The one that hates the Daily Mail

is here!

In other news

AFP reports that President Klaus, the last bastion of democracy in the European Union, will not drop his objections to the Lisbon Constitutional Treaty.

I explained that I fear, and I am not the only person to fear, a deepening of European Union integration," he said after talks with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev.

"For me it is something of vital importance. In my opinion, the conditions that I have made for signing the agreement are serious and the idea that I can forget what I have said is not well-founded.

Those of us who want a referendum - which I think is roughly the same as saying 'Those of us who don't want to be part of a federal Europe' are lucky to at least have someone to help stall until we in Britain have a General Election and kick out Brown. Or, of course, until Cameron grows a pair and says he will hold a referendum on Lisbon no matter what. Because that, of course, would be providing much needed armour to President Klaus who right now is doing a rather good impression of Britain in 1939.

His comments came the day after European Commission chief Jose Manuel Barroso told the Czech president -- who has become the last major obstacle to the long-awaited reform treaty's entry into force -- to quit stalling on the issue.

Quit stalling? Has the man with the unnaturally dark hair taken on a minor position in an American SitCom?

Barroso said Tuesday: "We expect the Czech Republic to honour the commitment it has taken. It is in the interests of nobody, least of all the interests of the Czech Republic, to delay matters further.

Hey - we expected Gordon Brown to honour his commitment but he bent us all over and laughed whilst he did it.

It's in the interests of democracy, you freakish hater of humanity, that the Czech Republic delays matters further. It's in the interest of the millions of voters in the UK who were denied what they were promised that we get a chance to have our say. It's in the interests of everyone under 50 that we get an opportunity to vote on the future of our country and debate exactly who we want to govern us.

It goes right to the heart of everything that is wrong with this European Union, so ably represented by the man that is Barroso.

How fitting is it that Tony Blair is the main man to take the position of President of the European Council - the man who could boldly talk about Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq being able to be deployed in 45 minutes knowing that Hans Blix had concluded nothing of the sort and in fact said that Saddam Hussein was complying with the weapons inspectors. The man who sent troops to this war without the required provisions because he joined the table too late and made a rash decision.

Still, it's quite convenient if they're all in the same building a lot, I suppose.

The Third Way doesn't exist

I haven't had much to do with Richard Howitt before but if you can listen to him for more than 10 seconds without wanting to do damage to something nearby then you're a better person than me.

A nice demonstration on how politicians lie and think that British people are complete idiots. The fact that Fiona Hall decided to try to imply that the Lib Dems are in favour of an 'In or Out' referendum given their behaviour over the ratification of the Lisbon Constitutional Treaty is, alas, typical of those who seek to dictate to us the way we live our lives.

pro-Lisbon businesses lay off workers

But after the biased referendum.

Funny, that

My great TV programme idea

Many thanks to Nutty Cow for telling me about this great programme called 'Four Weddings' and inspiring my creative juices.

It's a programme called bathrooms or bitching or bitching in bathrooms or fanny flapping or some such. It's all a work in progress at the moment but the general idea is there.

Women bitch.

Women like to listen / watch other people bitching which is why there are channels like Living TV and magazines like Heat.

When women go to the bathroom they bitch. This is usually increased with the consumption of alcohol.

So why don't we have a reality TV programme based on listening into conversations of women in bathrooms in restaurants, offices, parties, clubs etc up and down the country. We will have to have some clips to the footage going on outside to put it into context and that would also give opportunities for everyone to have an opinion in all of 10 seconds based on an outfit or hair colour or job. Maybe we could even stir it up a bit. You know, Get the Cabinet to meet in a titty slag bar and then listen to Harridan Harperson go mad as she has to go to the loo with some women who 10 minutes ago were smearing fanny sweat around a pole. Or even the ladies' loos in the cabinet office and listen to the women bitch about each other. We'd get some government secrets then.

And as they're going to be kicked out soon, I pray to God and his little angels on bicycles, it's not like they'd be telling us any top security country-in-danger sort of stuff that we didn't know by watching Labour party conference and the website of the ONS

Second time lucky

The Irish appear to have voted the right way when they were asked a second time round.

Opinion polls and informal exit polls indicate that the Irish will say "Yes" to the treaty - just 18 months after rejecting it in the first referendum...

Ireland's foreign minister predicted a convincing win for the "Yes" campaign.

"I am delighted for the country," Micheal Martin told Irish radio on Saturday.

Ireland's political establishment poured enough money into guaranteeing a YES vote - with the obligatory dollops of scaremongering and downright lying and defamation natch - but I suspect that they're not delighted for the country but for their own salary.

Of course, Ireland should never have had to have voted twice. Once was enough and it demonstrates the complete and utter disregard the EU and our political masters have for our opinions that Ireland was the only country to get a vote and that they had to be asked twice. What do we matter? We only pay the fucking bill.

From a personal point of view, the yes vote offers me the opportunity to firstly see which country Call Me Dave will hide behind now (will Klaus wait until a Tory victory in May?) and secondly I can't wait to see the reaction of the Irish yes voters and their dastardly politicians when their 'guarantees' are shredded by the legal entity which is the European Union.

If they're not included in any law then how are they legally binding? It's a question I expected the BBC to ask on one occasion at least but they're happy to promote the line that it will streamline the EU (fair point - it takes away the need for consensus and democracy is a tricky little blighter always getting in the way of their plans) and that the Irish have 'guarantees'.

Vote YES, get Blair. Although some of us have been pointing to that particular chestnut since December 2005 when rumours were rife he'd get the job if he'd slash the British rebate won for us by a decent Prime Minister.

Decent Prime Minister: there's a thought. Can't see one of those for the next 15 years.

Tory EU policy "a bloody mess" shock romp

So. iDave yesterday confirmed what most people who understand the EU have known for a while; namely that the Tory policy on the Lisbon Treaty is a mess. Such a mess, in fact, that I've heard they've appointed a new shadow 'Europe' minister:


In the European Election campaign both Cameron and Hague's performances indicated that they had absolutely no cohesive policy on the EU and our membership of it or even the right of the British people to have a say on it.

Ireland, Poland, Germany and the Czech Republic have not endorsed it yet, but are likely to do so before the British general election next year.

In that case, a new Tory government would have to decide whether to hold a British referendum on a ratified treaty, something that other EU leaders say would effectively be an in-or-out choice on Britain’s entire EU membership.

Mr Cameron has repeatedly refused to say what he will do if he comes to power with the treaty ratified, saying only that he will “not let matters rest.”

In an LBC radio interview, the Tory leader said that if the treaty is ratified, “new circumstances” will apply, suggesting a new Tory policy will be needed.

So basically what Cameron will do is hide behind the other countries and deny the British the right to have their say. Our choice is basically being decided by some other countries because the Tories are determined not to grow a pair.

"If this treaty is still alive, if it is still being discussed and debated anywhere in Europe, then we will give you that referendum, we will name the date during the election campaign, we'll hold that referendum straight away and I will lead the campaign for a No," he said.

I suspect that he won't actually, because he doesn't really understand it and his track record so far is to use the EU when he thinks it's helpful to him in the media and the rest of the time to studiously ignore it.

"Now, if those circumstances change, if the Germans ratify, if the Poles ratify, if the Czechs ratify, if the Irish vote Yes to the treaty, then a new set of circumstances [apply], and I will address those at the time."

Translation: "I've no fucking idea and I'm hoping that someone else will make the decision for me."

He went on to signal that he would not consider a move that could lead to Britain leaving the EU.

So that's a referendum once the Treaty's been ratified, then. Glad we've cleared that one up.

He said: "I want us to be in the European Union. We are a trading nation, we should be co-operating with our allies and friends in Europe over things like the environment and crime, of course we should."

Oh Dave, you just don't get it. You haven't a clue. You are not intelligent enough to be our Prime Minister if you can't grasp basic economics and think that it's acceptable to bankrupt the nation with Green Lies and that people should be thrown in foreign police cells on the basis of a magistrate in another EU country.

Andrew Symeou has been in prison in Greece, sharing a cell with murderers, for a lot longer than 42 days and yet the great Champion of Liberty David Davis and the Tory Party who are supposed to want freedom and democracy have absolutely nothing to say on this issue.

Now, if anyone can find the newsnight episode from the 2nd September I'll be forever in your debt.