Job Spec, anyone?

I've got a right old grump on at the moment. And it's really not being helped by waking up, listening to the Today programme and hearing glaring inaccuracies even before I know where my elbow is.

Geraldine Smith: are you a fucking moron?

EDM 428 proposer Morecambe MP Geraldine Smith said: ‘Royal Mail managed to make a profit for years and years.

‘Governments got millions of pounds from Royal Mail, they should have invested the money.

‘If you’ve got bad management, you sack the management, you don’t sell the business.’

Oh dear fucking God, woman.

Can I introduce you to this man who may be able to tell you a thing or two about Post Offices?

Are you that mentally retarded that you don't even know that the Maastrict Treaty places severe restrictions on State Aid which result in the majority of applications needing approval from the European Commission? Because when you were bumbling on the radio this morning, being allowed to fill the airwaves with your incorrect nonsense untamed by the interviewer, you seemed to think that not only did the Government have an endless supply of cash, but that they could use it where they liked.

If you don't know this, why are you an MP? Aren't you supposed to know about these things, what with it being your job?

And BBC: come on, now. You get huge amounts of public money to be an informed source of information and yet, even when you have an interview with this information on ready to be played, you refuse to mention it. Why? It is negligence. The media are the best way of the people being able to hold the government to account but if you don't know your arse from your elbow then it's going to be a harder job than it would be if only you'd write what was actually happening in the world.

It's not too much to ask, is it? That people who get paid well above the average salary, not to mention a license to have their greedy little trotters snaffling up expense afer expense like an Ethiopian at a tray of canapes, and I think that in return they should actually look at some legislation occasionally. The stuff that governs us. The stuff that comes out of the EU who, even though Richard Corbett won't admit it, make over 75% of our laws.

I'm going to have to start getting more use out of my whip, otherwise. Dress in leather and spiked heels and start beating up MPs.

Except that they'd probably enjoy it.

It's a campaign to make my mornings more peaceful and I think it's a worthy cause.