Make mine a large one

So MPs have published a report on binge drinking: hands up how many of you are surprised. Anyone?

Their plans to tell supermarkets how to price their products are unacceptable and nothing to do with them. Which MP included that in their manifesto? Have they ever thought that maybe, the reason we drink so much as a nation (apart from the distortion created from the Scots) is because the political classes, and in that - include MPs, MEPs, Councillors, commissioners and their policy wonks who have made our lives as dull, antiseptic and painful as possible.

I like to have a drink firstly, because I prefer a gin and tonic to a glass of sqaush and second, because it helps numb the pain of how these vile, hideous, gorgons have drained any fun or risk out of life. They won't be content until they, for they know best, have us gormlessly chained to our worker drone station, eating the food they provide us to eat, not drinking, not smoking and all jogging home in one huge group, aparachiks whipping us should we fail to keep up or get our knees up high enough.

Imagine your worst fears of a boarding school and that'll be a luxury holiday destination you dream about, when you're not begging for alzheimers to kick in.

But not in the Houses of Parliament, of course. Cheapest bar I fucking know. Wonder if they'll stop subsidising that? Or that fat Tory councillor I met yesterday, boasting about his luxury travel quaffing champagne and smoked salmon on a tax payer funded jolly? Will he suddenly join in with this whole notion of abstinence to combat 'yob culture'?

Will they bugger: it's do as I say and not as I do, but for most people in this country, sleepwalking into this Orwelliam nighmare, they deserve it for never putting up a fight.