Pigs Might Fly

It's so annoying when you're on public transport and some guy is taking up two seats because he's a porker. They're taking up a seat someone else who paid could be using when we all know he only paid for one. But we're supposed to just ignore it and be squished into a corner whilst they scowl, daring you to ask them to move up.

Well, this could be a thing of the past if you fly KLM!

Overweight people unable to squeeze into a single seat will have to pay for the one next to them – at a 25 per cent discount. Air France-KLM claimed the double charge, being brought in from April 1, was for safety reasons. We have to make sure that the backrest can move freely up and down and that all passengers are securely fastened with a safety belt,’ said company spokeswoman Monique Matze.

Seems perfectly sensible to me and it might go some way to making the poor person who can't get out of their seat for the entire duration of the flight feel better. Can you imagine a long haul flight next to someone who is virtually guaranteeing you some kind of deep vein thrombosis.

By paying for both, the overweight passenger will be assured two seats will be available next to each other.

so they've thought it out...

Another airline representative, Jerome Nguyen, said: ‘If an extremely corpulent passenger can’t fit into one seat and they don’t want to pay for a second, then they can’t fly.’

Their airlines, their rules.

Of course, France being France (and I think there is some state funding somewhere with Air France?) there are people crying 'mon dieu!'

The policy was condemned by Nadine Morano, French secretary of state for the family. ‘If people have to pay twice because of their illness, I find that shocking,’ she said.

Er, what? Sorry, can you run that past me again?

Your illness?
What illness is this that forces people to eat too much and not do any exercise? That restricts movement except a stroll to the fridge and some bicep work bringing cake from the table to the mouth? We're not talking about someone with a broken leg who can't go jogging, now, are we.

That's not an illness, is it. You're ill if you've got the flu or cancer. You're not ill because you struggle to walk past the chip shop without popping in for a large portion. I'm not speaking from that much of a moral highground: I like a cake as much as the next person but if I'm overweight it's no ones fault but my own and certainly nothing to do with me being ill!

Are we not allowed to accept responsibility for anything anymore? Must the state always be there to protect us should there be a deviation from the view that we are homogenous and one-size-fits-all? I know that some people are naturally skinny and others lean to the portly side, but when you have 25 chins and your trousers all have elasticated waists it might be time to put the cake down and pick the trainers up. Not to eat, though.