Food Tsar

Jeez, now we're to have a fucking 'Food Ombudsman' according to the Tories. How on earth does that tie in with cutting public spending and rolling back the state?

And why do the poor bloody householders, aka the Taxpayer, and the farmers who generally get buggered every which way by DEFRA and the bastard European Commission have to increase productivity and efficiency?

How bloody hypocritical is it of any MP to tell someone else to slim down and crank up production whilst the biggest wasters of all sit there stuffing their faces at our expense? Is there no end to their meaningless drivel? Is there any area of life which will remain free from some MP's chum being given a snazzy new title and fat public salary?

We've got a Dancing Tsar, a children's Tsar, a racial equality commission; what's next? The Honey Monster will expand his portfolio away from simply promoting various types of breakfast cereal and start appearing on the Today programme talking about the welfare of honey manufacturers and how fibre is important for regular bowel movements? Is Ronald McDonald to slip gracefully from the low end burger market to promote the importance of respecting circus life? Are we to see the Andrex Puppy traveling around schools advising children to wipe 'front to back' before popping in for a quick chat on newsnight backing up the Honey Monster and his tales of fantastic fibre?

Someone has to pay for this and it's not the bloody people coming up with these ideas, it's Joe Public who is perfectly happy in the knowledge that he should probably eat more vegetables, drink a bit less go for a jog every now and again and not beat his child around the head with a brick.

It makes me so angry that I can barely type these words on my keyboard without sounding like I'm trying to break the bloody thing! Stop it! Go away and leave us the bugger alone!