pathetic politics

I was at the count for the Ealing Southall by election and not withstanding that obviously I was disappointed by the result (although it was not a big campaign for us)the behaviour of certain political party members there made me sick.

I walked outside for a cigarette quite late on in the proceedings to be confronted with crowds surrounding the door. On one side were some scruffy looking youths from respect (which I think stands for recently expelled scottish politician espousing communist tyranny) ranting about the war. Facing them, resplendent in their usual sartorial elegance, was a motley crew from the vicious liberal democrats. Why they were shouting at each other about the war, I don't know, seeing as neither party supported it. Neither did UKIP, for that matter, but I suspect for different reasons.

The groups were getting so aggressive that the security guards had to shout at them to stand back and there was no way I could stand outside the door having a ciggy for fear of some missile being launched at one side and landing on me. Like some open-toed Jesus creeper sandals or a picture of Saddam Hussein or something. In the end some nice people from the MET came along and sorted them out, and I could smoke in relative safety.

I don't know what happened to the respect people after that, but I was standing outside having a chat when I heard the crowds making more odd noises. Walking in, I discovered some short, fat balding man making statements to the moth-eaten crowd of placard waving, mentally deranged Lib Dems, who were responding to his statements with great cheers! It was like one of those American God Squad TV programmes. I, kindly, pointed out to one of them that they hadn't actually won the election, but that wasn't what they wanted to hear.

It didn't get any better later on, either. We were waiting for the final numbers to be counted (how thick are people to vote for the current shower of shits we have now? Or maybe, just naive? Or maybe they vote for the people they think will give them the most free cash. I don't know.) when a plump Tory chap who had earlier almost knocked out my candidate with his enormous bottom, went around telling tories to "clap loudly for Tony" as the Lib Dems were planning to "boo him." Oh dear god, thought I. And we wonder why people are turned off politics.

This was followed by the backdrop on the stage shuddering as so many people were trying to cram on: it was full of bored looking women in saris, about 5 to each candidate (no comment) and seeing as there were 12 candidates, it was getting quite packed. Some candidates didn't feel the need to bring their entire extended family down, so luckily it wasn't so similar to the black hole of Calcutta as it could have been.

Then, like waves crashing onto the decks of the stricken Titanic, the Lib Dems came. Not literally, although the look on some of their faces it was possibly the closest they had been to coming for a while. All of a sudden, the room is filled with cat-sick yellow triangles as they pant and push for a place near a camera. The Tories aren't having any of this and join the throng, followed by Labour supporters as the snappers immortalise forever the seething mass of wannabe MPs. It's disgraceful. They are more interested in fighting each other than they are in putting forward policies and listening to what the public wants.

Are we really surprised that most people in Ealing Southall, and in Sedgefield, decided not to vote? Given that voting takes about 10 minutes to do, and you rarely get a moment to do it, thousands of people decided not to have a say in who was going to represent them in Westminster.

That to me is the most important issue. And from the performance I saw last night, I can't blame them. I'm interested in politics and I was disgusted by the scene. By all means, debate on issues, debate on things that matter. But petty squabbling in a town hall? Pass me the puke bucket.