evil paperclip of doom

I am at my parent's house cat sitting and so am having to use their PC with the lovely microsoft crap, which is really annoying. I tried to use word earlier, which annoyed me even further.

So I was delighted to see that Belle de Jure has also been having issues with the bloody paperclip of doom:

It seems nigh on impossible, thanks to the evil genius that is Bill Gates, for anyone who writes to survive without this word processing programme, but the facility that it claims picks up on spelling and grammatical errors is the stuff of smashed computer monitors. If you have not been provoked into this most extreme of reactions, it will not be long. Their insistence on using that irritating little paper clip to tell you that you have made a grammatical error, with the option of getting condescending little lesson on how to write properly is enough to make one howl with despair.

Go read it!

Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink

When American satirist Robert Benchley arrived in Venice, he sent a telegram saying "streets flooded, please advise". These words must ring hollow in the ears of people living in the South West who have seen their streets turn into rivers as the flood waters continue to rise.

After his tour of some of the worst-hit areas, Gordon Brown announced a review of flood defences. But for the thousands of people who are without homes, power and running water, this is all too little, too late.

In 2004, a Government-commissioned report said the risk of flooding would rise up to 20 times by the 2080s because of increased rainfall, and said the Government would need to increase spending by £30 million every year so as to catch up.

Yet, what did our leaders do when presented with this evidence? Well, last year, Gordon Brown cut the flood defence budget by £14 million.

One would have thought that after this catastrophic move by Labour, they'd be looking for ways to ensure that a disaster on this scale would not happen again.
But, only on Monday in the House of Commons, Housing Minister Yvette Cooper set out proposals for 70,000 new homes, some of which will be built on flood plains.

Insurers have insisted that all new housing developments should be built away from flood-prone areas, and announced 800 major housing projects have gone ahead against their advice. Yet our Government continues to ignore professional advice. One way they could help flood victims is by trying to get some of our money back from the European Union.

In 2002, the European Union set up a "solidarity fund" to come to the aid of any member state in the event of a major national disaster. The fund, paid for in part by British taxpayers, has an annual budget of one billion euros, and was used in 2002 to help flood victims in central Europe.

It will intervene in cases of natural disasters with serious repercussions on living conditions and includes money to restore infrastructure, including energy, drinking water and sewerage.

There are 350,000 people in Gloucestershire now without running water since a treatment plant was swamped, and it is estimated that they will have to wait a week before the problems are fixed.

Our membership of the European Union costs every man, woman and child in this country £873 a year: a figure even the Daily Express are taking as fact now. Surely, we should try to recoup some of that to help people whose homes and businesses have been ruined by the floods? This is not charity, but is claiming back what is rightfully ours.

In 2002, the European Commission allocated 728 million euros to Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic and France following the floods which caused huge amounts of damage in those countries.

Last year, it gave 92.88 million euros to Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Sweden following storms which devastated the areas.

The estimated cost of the floods in the UK is currently at £2 billion, well within the amount required by the EU for emergency funds. So why has our Government not done anything about this?

Many requests have been written to the FCO, including from UKIP MEP Derek Clark, who wrote to Mr Miliband on 5th July, only to receive a reply telling him his letter had been fobbed off onto another department. The Tories have also jumped on the bandwagon, with Neil Parish appearing on the Today Programme shortly after the media were informed that the letter by Mr Clark had been sent. Mr Parish then proceeded to tell the listeners that the Conservatives were asking for this fund too. Why not just join up with UKIP and let's all have a combined effort?

More rain is on the way tonight, and as green fields become lakes, the misery for farmers who have lost livestock to drowning and have crops rotting in the fields will be exacerbated, knowing that if they have to rely on payments from Defra, they face years of difficulties. The £200 million black hole in Defra's financing caused by fines after late payments to farmers is partly the cause of cuts in the flood defence budget. The audacity of the EU charging us for not giving our money back to the people they took it from in the first place before they handed it to Brussels is frankly mind boggling. All the fines do is create another expense, which in the South West resulted in a cut in..you've guessed it! Flood defences. Where do we find these people from? It's worth mentioning, I think, that in the 1997 Labour government, not one single person had ever set up their own business. A wise decision, perhaps, considering that since they all have brains made from cotton wool, they would surely fail.

But why is our Government giving away so much of our money overseas, including £8 billion to Africa, when these last weeks have highlighted serious flaws in our own infrastructure? If they want to help the developing world, why not pull out of the EU and engage in free trade? That way, everyone can get richer and the allocative and productive efficiency can ensure less wastage. There's an idea which would work, and yet it is met with cries of outrage and derision when mentioned. No, you're probably right: giving money to prop up criminal governments is a much better idea, just like giving an allowance to a lazy teenager is likely to make them get off their arse and get a job.

Why has a developed country like ours no national standards for defending essential infrastructure and is relying on people piling up sandbags around a power station to prevent mass blackout?

Predictably, our Government has hidden behind climate change as the reason for this misery. Most recent climate models suggest Britain should experience drier, hotter summers and wetter winters rather than the deluge we have recently experienced. One cannot measure a climate on the weather experienced in one country over one weekend.
Instead of rushing to build houses everywhere, the Government should look at the impact of building on water run-off areas and stop building on flood plains, especially as 700,000 homes stand empty. We need to plan better and ensure new homes don't suffer the same fate as those currently sitting under water.

And in the meantime, we need to demand our money from the European Union which hundreds of thousands of people across this country desperately need. Once we've got our money, though, I do hope people see sense about this laughable government and vote them out. A few more years of these monkeys and there won't be anything else to rebuild.

Quelle Surprise?

Thanks to the handsome Stig for sending this to me...

A French man whose skull was mostly occupied by a "huge fluid-filled chamber" was able to operate perfectly well as a civil servant - despite having "little more than a thin sheet of actual brain tissue", Reuters reports.

The 44-year-old's condition was revealed when he went to hospital suffering from mild weakness in his left leg. A probe of his medical history revealed he'd had a shunt inserted into his skull as an infant to relieve hydrocephalus, which was removed when he was 14.

Doctors were "amazed" when computed tomography and magnetic resonance imaging scans showed "massive enlargement" of his lateral ventricles, "usually tiny chambers that hold the cerebrospinal fluid that cushions the brain".

Dr Lionel Feuillet and colleagues at the Universite de la Mediterranee in Marseille explained in a letter to The Lancet: "He was a married father of two children, and worked as a civil servant." Tests revealed the chap's IQ as 75, below average but evidently no impediment to leading a normal life.

Dr Max Muenke, a paediatric brain defect specialist at the National Human Genome Research Institute, said: "What I find amazing to this day is how the brain can deal with something which you think should not be compatible with life. If something happens very slowly over quite some time, maybe over decades, the different parts of the brain take up functions that would normally be done by the part that is pushed to the side."

How was someone with an IQ of 75 working for the French government? Perhaps he was in the EU section or summat?

pathetic politics

I was at the count for the Ealing Southall by election and not withstanding that obviously I was disappointed by the result (although it was not a big campaign for us)the behaviour of certain political party members there made me sick.

I walked outside for a cigarette quite late on in the proceedings to be confronted with crowds surrounding the door. On one side were some scruffy looking youths from respect (which I think stands for recently expelled scottish politician espousing communist tyranny) ranting about the war. Facing them, resplendent in their usual sartorial elegance, was a motley crew from the vicious liberal democrats. Why they were shouting at each other about the war, I don't know, seeing as neither party supported it. Neither did UKIP, for that matter, but I suspect for different reasons.

The groups were getting so aggressive that the security guards had to shout at them to stand back and there was no way I could stand outside the door having a ciggy for fear of some missile being launched at one side and landing on me. Like some open-toed Jesus creeper sandals or a picture of Saddam Hussein or something. In the end some nice people from the MET came along and sorted them out, and I could smoke in relative safety.

I don't know what happened to the respect people after that, but I was standing outside having a chat when I heard the crowds making more odd noises. Walking in, I discovered some short, fat balding man making statements to the moth-eaten crowd of placard waving, mentally deranged Lib Dems, who were responding to his statements with great cheers! It was like one of those American God Squad TV programmes. I, kindly, pointed out to one of them that they hadn't actually won the election, but that wasn't what they wanted to hear.

It didn't get any better later on, either. We were waiting for the final numbers to be counted (how thick are people to vote for the current shower of shits we have now? Or maybe, just naive? Or maybe they vote for the people they think will give them the most free cash. I don't know.) when a plump Tory chap who had earlier almost knocked out my candidate with his enormous bottom, went around telling tories to "clap loudly for Tony" as the Lib Dems were planning to "boo him." Oh dear god, thought I. And we wonder why people are turned off politics.

This was followed by the backdrop on the stage shuddering as so many people were trying to cram on: it was full of bored looking women in saris, about 5 to each candidate (no comment) and seeing as there were 12 candidates, it was getting quite packed. Some candidates didn't feel the need to bring their entire extended family down, so luckily it wasn't so similar to the black hole of Calcutta as it could have been.

Then, like waves crashing onto the decks of the stricken Titanic, the Lib Dems came. Not literally, although the look on some of their faces it was possibly the closest they had been to coming for a while. All of a sudden, the room is filled with cat-sick yellow triangles as they pant and push for a place near a camera. The Tories aren't having any of this and join the throng, followed by Labour supporters as the snappers immortalise forever the seething mass of wannabe MPs. It's disgraceful. They are more interested in fighting each other than they are in putting forward policies and listening to what the public wants.

Are we really surprised that most people in Ealing Southall, and in Sedgefield, decided not to vote? Given that voting takes about 10 minutes to do, and you rarely get a moment to do it, thousands of people decided not to have a say in who was going to represent them in Westminster.

That to me is the most important issue. And from the performance I saw last night, I can't blame them. I'm interested in politics and I was disgusted by the scene. By all means, debate on issues, debate on things that matter. But petty squabbling in a town hall? Pass me the puke bucket.

No sane man would support it.....

Another gem from one of the best programmes ever made, pointing out how this ban on smoking in public places is utterly ridiculous...

I had to sit on the pavement outside my office today to have a quick puff instead of sitting comfortably at my desk and, of course, working at the same time. I'm being forbidden from multi tasking as well as providing the government with revenue for them to waste on bleeding heart lefty idealistic yet utterly flawed social programs. How kind I am..

Bummers Nazi Party?

Rumours have reached my pretty, shell-like ears that the BNP in Sedgefield are telling people that UKIP want to reduce the age of homosexual consent to 14. My issue with that is that it's not UKIP policy to do so and the BNP, if these rumours are true, are saying it to stop people voting for us.

Personally, I can't understand why anyone would vote for the BNP unless they had mental problems, but that's not the issue at stake here. The issue is the BNP allegedly engaging in dirty tricks, and making out that being gay is bad in some way. So, I thought I'd post this little gem...

Proof that politics spin faster than a ballerina can be found in the latest revelation to descend on the BNP.

Only last week Richard Barnbrook proved an electoral bonus to the far-right party when he won 11 council seats in the East London borough of Barking and Dagenham.

The shocking success of Barnbrook’s campaign led to much hand-wringing in the media and from the opposition parties.

Labour’s Margaret Hodge was accused of giving the BNP undue publicity when she voiced concern at their apparent popularity.

Despite his success, it seems the smug smile has been wiped from Barnbook’s face following revelations that he was responsible for an arty Marxist, erotic gay movie titled HMS Discovery: A Love Story.

Made in 1989 when Barnbrook was a student, the avant-garde affair shows men in nautical fancy dress, fondling and pulling each other’s clothes off before frolicking naked in a river.

The anti-fascist organisation Searchlight were responsible for leaking the story, which they gleefully handed to the local newspapers who, dutifully splashed the story over their front pages. Anti-BNP protestors bought up the papers in their hundreds and then handed them out at local tube stations.

The BNP leader Nick Griffin is trying to make light of the matter as the tabloids revel in the lurid details, which include a script co-written by Barnbrook featuring some choice poetry unlikely to win literary awards.

‘It bares you like a foreskin’s folds…you will make of yourself a beauty, hard as rusting trucks and slag’.

Griffin is no stranger to rumours of a gay past and is now busily denying Barnbrook’s apparent passion for a man in a sailors’ outfit. ‘Pathetic rubbish,’ is how Griffin described the scandal. ‘Richard is not a Marxist or gay’.

While it’s hard not to notice the subtle homophobia in much of the tabloid reporting of the scandal, it’s equally difficult not to rejoice in the BNP’s egg-laden face.

One of the party’s key policies is that gay sex should be criminalised, though it tends to focus on immigration and housing in order to stir up resentment within multi-racial communities.

Unlike the Lib Dem’s Mark Oaten, the slick-haired Barnbrook will be unable to blame his gay moment on baldness.

I spy....

I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on Saturday, and my it was good! I can't wait to go again, especially to see the truly marvelous Bellatrix Lestrange. What a woman.

In between slurping on fizzy pop, eating pop corn and trying not to suffocate from the noxious fumes emerging from the bottom of my cinema-going pal, I noticed a similarity between one of the characters and our new Prime Minister....



Gordon Brown



Grawp

That's why Blair waited until he left office, then!

rather amusing

Just watching the news on ITV and saw a clip from David Cameron talking about the fact that Labour are 7 points ahead of the Tories in the polls. (how? not that I like the Tories, but how is anyone supporting any of the three main parties?)

He said that 'polls come and polls go' but, of course, just being a clip, it could have been spelt anyway...Like

Poles come and Poles go? Except that they don't really....which is presumably why this government is planning on building lots more council houses so people like me who can't afford their own house pay for other people to get houses and then pay for other people to get rich by paying their mortgage from our rent.

Am just sick of this country, I really am. It all seems to be geared up for people who don't try hard. I heard a story the other day about someone who was done for a minor infringement and saw first hand police on first name terms with a repeat violent offender who got treated like it was a hotel, whilst this guy just had to sit there and suffer because he has done well for himself.

We all get taxed so much to pay for health services which don't work, politicians who don't listen and to fund the lifestyles of people who need to get off their arses and do some work instead of living off mine, and other people who contributes, money. These people are doing what they can to make sure anyone who can leaves this bloody socialist bolt hole

It's not like the Tories are any better. They are proving that they haven't gotten to grips with economics by failing to realise that cutting tax boosts economic growth by saying that they will wait for growth before cutting tax. mental.

Food for thought

Let go, release, free yourself from the bindings of attachment.

Whatever you have in your mind, forget it.

Whatever you have in your hand, give it.

Whatever is to be your fate, face it.

This world is all about attachment, yet we get worried because we are all attached.

Gordon Brown: retard?

Following on from the comments the other day by Batshit when he, apparently mistakenly, said that the new 'Not-the-Constitution' Treaty transferred more powers than Maastricht, Gordon Brown has made a little bit of an error.

"A&E have 5,000,000 more attendants each years because of our investment" according to Mr Dizzy is the proud call of our Prime Minister.

Does that mean that because they have thrown more of our taxes at the NHS more people are having accidents and getting ill? Because if that's right (and that's what it sounds like) then that's not really something to be that proud of. Unless Labour are trying to kill us off, which could explain a few things...

interesting...

I have just been reading the terms and conditions of the Downing Street petition and notice that it includes:

We reserve the right to reject:

* petitions which are intended to be humorous, or which have no point about government policy (however witty these are, it is not appropriate to use a publically-funded website for purely frivolous purposes)

Which leads me to believe that the petition to ask the Prime Minister to stand on his head and juggle ice cream is being taken seriously by the government.

Oh, goody!

I've been a bit quiet. I'm in a rather odd place right now and have decided to spend my time going to the gym and seeing my friends, rather than getting all frothy about politics. Because at the end of the day, there is more to life than politics.

Not sure if there is more to life than shoes, though. But I do have lots of shoes, and everything is not rosy. Perhaps I need more?

hypocritical bastards

My name is Trixy and I enjoy smoking. I like having a wee ciggy when I'm having a drink, or after a meal, or when I'm thinking about what to write, or when I'm bored waiting at a bus stop, or...you get the idea.

And now, thanks to this government, I can't enjoy it like I used to. Because Auntie Patsy decided she knew best, and we were going to ban smoking everywhere. Even if the landlord of a pub wanted it to be a smoking pub, or it was a private members club. No, you can't have a cigarette. oh, by all means go and drink yourself into a stupor and end up in casualty (I was in casualty on Saturday night and saw quite a lot of evidence of this) or mug an old lady and get a slap on the wrist. But smoking! Gasp!

Those MPs who voted this through really piss me off. And I'm not even sure any other party in Westminster would overturn the ban, either. Which is another reason why I'm glad I'm with UKIP. You see, it's not a question of whether smoking is bad, it's about civil liberties. First it was hunting, now smoking. What next? No having any bloody fun? We'll have to start off with some kind of 'day' first: no having any bloody fun day, then 'no having any fun' sections of pubs and restaurants, then a ban. Miserable bastards that they are. So imagine my disgust when, having been in 2 pubs and the Houses of Parliament today, I read this on the BBC:

MPs have been accused of flouting the smoking ban - and even sneaking cigarettes in the Commons toilets.

If I see anyone who voted for the smoking ban having a ciggy in the loo I am going to tar and feather them. And then steal their cigarettes.

she (Harriet Harperson) had been pleased to see "smoke enforcement officers in high visibility jackets" on her way into the Commons, which showed the ban was in operation elsewhere.

oh my!

My friend Minge just sent me this!


Am completely behind the appeal!

Come Dancing

Some of you may know that ol' Trix is something of a ballroom dancing fan and has actually become rather good at it. (Instructor told me yesterday my waltz was "perfect, as usual") but it's rather annoying not having a proper partner, as such.

Lots of us girls choose to dance on our own and wait until we can dance with instructor, as it's just easier, really. Better than dancing with Square Bob High Pants or one of the other boys in the class who can't lead and, when you do something like the Viennese waltz, end up dragging you into the middle of the floor and treading on your feet. No thank you.

I did, however, spot someone today who could be my partner. Our new Prime Minister seemed to be dancing around David Cameron today, despite it only being his first Prime Minister's Questions. You would have thought that Cameron would have it fairly easy. It's not like Gordon hasn't been intrinsic in the last 10 years of abject misery and failure which this Labour government have inflicted on this country: as I've said before, he's such a money grabbing bastard I would not be in the least bit surprised if he tried to tax me for loose change I found down the side of the sofa. And yet today Cameron looked decidedly on the back foot like previous Wednesday afternoons.

Surely his biggest problem would be which questions to ask the Prime Minister about failures in the country? I don't know where I would start, there are so many. The increased tax burden, soaring house prices making affordable housing for young people a distant dream for most unless their parents can help out considerably, the lack of a referendum on the new EU Not-The-Constitution, the NHS, funding of the armed forces, the future energy policy....

And yet he bumbles on and lets the one eyed tax monster look as though he is competent enough to be our Prime Minister.

A few friends in the Tory Party have said they hope that UKIP and the Lib Dems do well in the two forthcoming by elections as the Tories don't deserve to do well at the moment. I don't hope the Lib Dems do well as I despise them, but the former I, obviously, hope do very well.

At least we have some policies, which is a start in politics....