Dosh for Dining-Rooms

Conservative MPs are being investigated by the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards over the alleged misuse of House of Commons dining rooms.

More tea, vicar? Is David Davis slipping Theresa May a length before the late night sitting? Legs spread, her hands slamming into the ramikin dishes full of mustard, globules dangling from her fingers before they are thrown against the wall as her whole body shudders in ecstacy?

Not quite.

Sir Philip Mawer launched a preliminary inquiry after two Labour MPs said 22 Tories were using the facilities to raise party funds.

Perhaps whoring Theresa May out in the dining room, then? The David Davis escort service?

Wrong again, Trix. Get your mind out of the gutter. Or at least DKs lap.

It seems that the holier-than-thou Mambpy pamby lets-all-sit-by-mother-at-the-party Tories have been hosting dinners to raise money for their party. Well, they don't have any policies, people aren't joining (try getting some policies?) and they can't get any more big loans from people as that all went a bit tits up, so I suppose a quick dinner of melon balls, chicken supreme and trifle is as far as they are prepared to risk it.

I think I gatecrashed one my friend was hosting the other evening. He's a candidate so I suspect he falls into the category of:

But Labour MP Kevin Jones told the BBC: "They're using private dining rooms for direct fundraising, not only for sitting members of parliament but also for target Liberal Democrat and Labour seats.

Is it just me, or are these two Labour MPs the sort of dribbly nosed prim sneak that always ended up having their head flushed down the lavatory because everyone couldn't stand the fact that they were such a no fun tell tail tit? Really. I am no fan of the Conservatives (although I did send that nice Mr Cameron a bunch of flowers the other day to thank him for all his hard work) but two members of a political party whose own leaders are being arrested and questioned by police over a financial scandal really are just grappling around for anything they can lay their hands on to divert attention for the mess the Labour party is in.

It's no surprise it's in a mess, though. Nor any of the others. What with them being dominated by self serving, herpes infected cunts with free-flowing flapsnot.