Monday, July 18, 2005

Cocaine found in the European Parliament

Traces of cocaine, indicating usage, have been found in 41 of 46 lavatories tested in the European Parliament. I'm not surprised, for two reasons.

1) This place is jaw-achingly dull. If you've ever been to a committee, you'll understand.

2) It certainly explains much of the 'legislation' coming out of this place, and the conduct of committees and plenary sessions. Let me explain....

From the national drugs website:

Delivering a quick and euphoric high, a blast of top quality coke can make you feel like you've just scored the winning goal in a FA Cup Final. Confidence soars through the roof, the heart thumps out a drum'n'bass crescendo, while you feel like you're on top of the world. Such is the strength of the drug, even the Grimthorpe Working Men's Club feels like a great place to be after a hefty noseful.

Side effects: You may well feel like a million dollars on coke, but to those around you, you may well appear as an arrogant, loud arsehole with your incessant gibbering and insincere waffling...

Do you see where I am going with this? I've always wondered why people like to talk so much in the Parliament and why they feel so confident making the decisions they do, particularly when they are not equipt with, say, the knowledge or expertise most of these decisions require. I am certainly not implying that everyone in the Parliament is snorting a quick line of Charlie before they hop, skip and jump into their 2 minute speech on the quality of beetroot cubes in the EU, or before they undertake a massive voting list on something they probably know little about, but it certainly makes one wonder...

1 comment:

Northun Munki in Oxford Circus said...

Sod Turkey, let's expand Europe to include Columbia!